These days with Morrie!

My old professor, meanwhile, was stunned by the normalcy of the day around him. Shouldn’t the world stop? Don’t they know what has happened to me? But the world did not stop, it took no notice at all, and as Morrie pulled weakly on the car door, he felt as if he were dropping into a hole. Now what? he thought.

Tuesday’s with Morrie …hmm…

While watching Morrie's videos, my ears did hear this line without any extra attention. As soon as Morrie came to know about his illness and approaching death, this was the first reaction he had.

And story at this end

Travelling back to India for wedding…Shouldn’t England come to a halt? Don’t they know what is going to happen to me? But seems everything is same around…Earth rotating at same speed... Sun rays approaching at same speed… The world hasn’t stopped.

It appears that in last few days, I have been too demanding for people around. I need to remind myself often that its “I” who is getting married or shifting places, not everyone… while I gear up for a change in my life, the life around will not stop. It has to run with same speed!

But then why did the lyricist write – lagta hai saare sansar ki shaadi hai :-) ?

Questions and Jokes apart, I have been wondering about His setup. In one sense world doesn’t change with changes in your life, but at the same time, world and you are undergoing same experience – kya Jhakkas setup hai !!

इक नुक्ता यार पढाया ऐ !!

Two days ago I was sitting in the project update meeting and all of a sudden something happened. My thoughts shook me - where am I sitting? White skin, blonde hair, different tongue, strange dresses ... where am I? My eyes went around in all directions - I am surrounded by people who are so different. Who are these? Natasha, Matt, Mike, Bob ... each face seems so different from mine. Skin texture, Hair style, Dialogue delivery...nothing is common between the people I see here and myself. Oh my God !!
I wasnt seeing those faces for the first time. For past 600-700 days, I have been seeing the same faces again and again but never ever realised these are so different from mine. Oh my God ...

It took a moment to return back to my senses - thank you Babaji. For all these days I have lived with these people, and never ever felt out of place. Natasha, Matt...all of these have been members of my family. I still can't digest when Natasha tied Rakhi to me. Natasha, my reporting manager from client side, has been sharing love of a sister. Friday only we were sitting together where she mentioned - Sunil, you never have been a contractor for us. We have worked with you as a permanent member of staff.

Babaji - thank you ! You and your strange ways are beyond my intellect and thoughts. People fight for colors of the skin, but with your eyes there is no different color only color that matters is red. People fight for every second difference, but with your understanding there is no difference big enough to create a wall between human and another human. I don't know what have you done to my life and thoughts but still thanks. The love that you share is often taken for granted but still its your grace that you continue pouring same love on me. Thank you Babaji !

Rightly do they say, Ek nukta yaar padhaaya ae, Ek nukte wich gal mukdi ae....

Anna Lake - Meet at 9:10 AM

I had this last minute meeting request from Anna L today morning. Anna L is on senior management side and is often talked when there are discussions being held on key stake holders of the project. Almost a year on this project but I never came across her in person. Not until today – but today I did.

As soon as I entered the meeting room, I could see both familiar and not yet familiar faces – Matt, Sam, Natasha, Brian, lady with whom I have shared smiles and jokes, gentleman with white beard, another lady with curly hair, elderly gentleman and others. As meeting started I was introduced to Anna L, and here she was – a person whose name I had been hearing for past one year was in front of me. Thank you Matt for introducing me to her! We shook hands and smiled – You are Anna! Sunil this is you! No one could understand what was going on. This lady I have known for past two years now- we have exchanged smiles, culture talks, sweets, PJs. Never did I dream that she would be Anna – I have met her so many times before this meeting happened but never realized who she was. After today’s meeting too, we met again but honestly this time meeting her was more pleasure – pleasure beyond words!

Aaha ! Bulleh Shah –

“Bulleya Rabb Da Ki Paunna, Aedheron Puttanna Tae Oudarr Launna.”
“O Bulleh Shah, what’s the big deal to Attain God, simple as plucking from here and planting there.”

I quoted Bulleh Shah’s lines to Naveen other day. Naveen was asking do souls who don’t believe in God achieve salvation. As usual I began – “This depends on the giver of salvation, I am no one to comment. It’s the decision that lies in hands of the giver but if you ask me I don’t think that the non-believers are any different.” Our discussions went further thereon, “Whether we realize this is God or not, God is God and He is what He is. People might use one name or the other, accept or reject religion, may believe in God, or don’t believe in God, call Him consciousness, call Him unknown, call Him energy, call Him supreme, or do whatever – nothing is changing. He meets and governs me every moment irrespective of whether I acknowledge His presence. It’s the same journey we all make – you may see me different from yourself but who knows you would experience today what I’d do tomorrow. As I understand, paths are not parallel- they are very much serial. Things are so simple, complexities are just because we haven’t known the Entity we are worshipping or hearing about. Knowledge of God is the answer to all delusions and its not that tough at all. If attaining God was so tough why would saints like Bulleh Shah speak like this? Probably one hasnt come across this simple solution or is not ready to pick it up, probably because its human nature not to accept Simple things.”

Not sure if Naveen understood what I meant but now I have something to speak with him tomorrow taking Anna’s example. Being non-believer doesn’t mean one hasn’t dealt with Anna….oops I mean God. To me a non-believer interacts with God equal number of times as does a believer - it’s just that one might not have realised who and where God is. Once someone like Matt becomes the way, Anna would no longer remain just a name and then soul will definitely sing – “ Bulleya Rabb Da Ki Paunna, Aedheron Puttanna Tae Oudarr Launna”.

Guru Vs Guru

As time nears my wedding date, I have started giving more ears to what the experienced have to say. Not long ago, we were sitting in Hayes at Soniya Di’s place where she was mentioning about the pride a wife takes in her husband. “Bhaiya, irrespective of the caliber that her husband carries, a woman considers her man to be the crown of her head. Things change after marriage, earlier you can make fun of your friends but as soon as they get married, you’ll notice the difference. You crack the same joke as before, husband might not feel offended but wife won’t be able to tolerate that because her husband is her pride”.

I did notice this behavior thereafter. So beautifully this pride rests in women that I couldn’t resist relating this to my spiritual journey. I feel this is also true to every human. Irrespective of the level of correctness of my belief system, I am so attached to my beliefs. Like a wife who takes pride in her husband, I too take pride in my beliefs. The only friends wife has made are the one’s who have accepted wife with her husband. This behavior I think everyone understands, but don’t know why this doesn’t get replicated in spiritual journeys? A lady might take pride in her own husband but at the same time is cautious about understanding the pride woman opposite her is taking. Don’t know why people fail to implement this spiritually?

X who believes God is everywhere can’t tolerate Y who is trying to see God in his Guru. I cannot accept or offer respect to someone’s Guru but doesn’t mean my God is absent in his Guru. Don’t know why this gets missed, If I admire my mentor similarly does he admire his mentor. I believe this simple thought can prevent Guru Vs Guru fights going around.

Come In

I watching Madagascar other day and there came this scene which I
could relate to my life. There stood a Giraffe proposing Hippo, "Its
neither doctor's prescriptions nor any medicine that has kept me
alive. I am alive just by seeing you." Mr. Giraffe seemed to describe
my story too, not love story but my soul's story.
I don't know how you have decided for others but for me I can sum up
it's just you. It's just your presence that has kept me alive. Neither
any caliber nor any understanding of the texts I had but thy grace
still surrounded and surrounds me. It is your grace that life
experiences what seems to be enclosed in those unread texts.
Often when I hear these lines, thoughts connect to you again-

Tujh bin jeena, bhi kya jeena
Teri chaukhat mera Madina
Kahin aur na Sajda gawaara

Enlightened ones wrote somewhere for you, "Mainu yaar manaudo fursat
nahi, dasso rab nu manaawa kis welley" Not different from the
expressions that came in "Gur Gobind, dono khadhe, kaake laagu paaye.
Balhaari Gur aapne jis Gobind diyo bataaye". Such is thy grace.

I don't deny when people speak that teacher appears when student
becomes ready but for my life I would say that when teacher had to
appear, he got student ready. I don't know when I made sincere knock
at your door but what I recall from this birth, I have seen you
standing at open door and asking me to come in.

"I do not choose the best, rather the best chooses me. Had it been
upto me, I surely would have missed thee."

Cześć Kochanie

Today morning, I opened Facebook to send birthday wishes to Aga. Then a thought flashed of doing this in Polish instead of English. I looked for translation and then sent it to her - wszystkiego najlepszego z okazji urodzin ! I was a bit skeptical if it conveyed the exact message but somehow sent it across.

Few hours ago I returned from dinner and saw her thanks note! Surprising indeed ! She wrote - aapakaa bahut bahut dhanyavaad :)

After reading her reply I am sure that my wish did convey her the right message - message that you as a person are more valuable to me than my own language !

She's Jhalli .. Guru's Jhalli !!

Days ago, I caught hold of this sister at B'mgham bhawan. I just had come out of the Namaskar line after seeking Babaji's blessings. 'Did you do Namaskar?' I checked with her.
To this she humbly replied - 'Bhaiya, I did not do Namaskar, I have had enough chances.'

I was thinking perhaps she had done it on Monday so didn't want to it again on UK trip. But later she clarified that she had done namaskar in Austria, and even after getting 4-5 chances in UK to do namaskar she had let go those opportunities. Sounded a bit strange to me - I would have understood her refusal on 2nd, 3rd or 4th opportunity but couldnt digest her refusal for all the opportunities even the very first. The mystery seemed to deepen when she said - 'Bhaiya, by doing namaskar here I didnt want to spoil the memories of the blessings I have had in Austria'.

Not sure if I could show any signs of confusion before she started unwinding her thoughts - 'Bhaiya, when I was standing in Queue in Austria, dont know why but all of sudden my thoughts changed. Earlier I stood there, thinking of some tasks, assignments but dont know when my thoughts just changed to gratitude for Babaji. The change that my life has had after His teachings. The only thought in my mind was to thank Babaji, and it seemed that Babaji too approved those thoughts because the memories I have at present are still afresh. But here in UK, I have had these many chances to do namaskar again, but every time my mind is full with some other thoughts, not experiencing gratitude for Him. And I feel this would be a wasted opportunity, if I bow down to Him thinking something else. Doing Namaskar like this would make no difference than me standing still watching Him. I dont want to spoil those memories where my mind was in complete surrenderance, to which He too reciprocated.'

Then we changed the topic of discussion, but inside I knew my thoughts were held. Her talks were not complete non-sense to me for they reflected something which I too have experienced. I dont know how she achieved this state, or is it required to copy this style of namaskar....but more than that I do need to copy this art of doing things and enjoying them at the same time. I guess this is a human tendency to do things at times even though when one is not fully present ...but art is to learn how to BE THERE.

BAU ;-)

He called me around 10. I wasnt expecting him to phone me at that hour especially when he would have been at college and I at work. Before anything else I asked him - Are you okay?

It was a bit unusual to receive his call, so I wanted to confirm if things were okay with him. He said smilingly - Ya Ya bhaiya, I just read your thought on Divine Souls group so felt like talking to you.

It was BAU...we both talking and expressing our mixed emotions. I guess phone call went for half an hour or so before we ended the call.

It always has been a pleasure to hear his voice and inspirational thoughts. I went back to the days when he too was in Bangalore and we shared a joyous time together. Then he went to Delhi for his studies and I received his call that day. That day I had contributed for 'Thought of the day' series on Divine Souls group, possibly he would have read my name and called me up. It was a pleasure again to hear him.

Day went as it does normally. While on way back I was again remembering the thoughts that he shared on the phone call that day. Also was appreciating how he connected to my name on the thought...why wont he? The thought itself was so good that anyone would have picked up his phone and called some one important in his life. The thought went something like - If you had only half an hour left in your life and one phone call to make, whom would you call? And why are you waiting? This thought is one of my favorites, and perhaps that's why I shared it with all those on the group. Reminds me not to take time for granted, each moment is precious...and should be used very judicially. Good that he called. And all of a sudden my thoughts went around - Oh ! he called me after reading that thought...but I myself did not phone anyone. Before wasting another second, I called some one whom I felt I should be hearing once again.

When I look at myself, such incidents keep happening now and then. I keep talking loud when I see you around..but at times I do fall short of what ever I myself have spoken. Maalik, bless that I follow your guidelines. Rightly did I hear that devotion is a path of selfishness. It has taken a while to understand the meaning, that before anyone else my soul needs to be cleansed. If talks give reminders to others very well but talks would be worthwhile only if I am able to follow. I remember George Ji sharing other day - Irony is that we talk about God, we don't talk to God ! May the connection between You and me keeps getting strengthened, rest is BAU ;-)

Pack of 10 eggs

As soon as I entered house, I thought of returning the recently bought pack of 10 eggs. While buying only, I was skeptical about this pack. I wasn't sure if I'll be able to consume 10 eggs before the expiry date. But then somehow bought this pack, as there weren't many options to choose from.

As I entered the house, I started reading the details mentioned on the pack. "Expiry date is a bit far away, If I eat 2 daily I should be able to meet the target." - my mind was making calculations. And all of a sudden I read something that I took a U-turn in order to return to the shop. "I can't" - my mind saying to me.

I always have been choosy of what I can eat and what not. "Although I can eat eggs but not of ducks, or lions, ......wait a minute...lions dont lay eggs. Chief, do lions lay eggs?"

I have seen Chief smiling when we talk about stuff but not laughing like he did when I asked this question. "Yes, they do in Britain" was his reply with a smile.

And I understood he was pulling my leg :-)

Though I tried my best to link it to spirituality but nothing much I could do. Although the very first thought that came after this incident was - How easy it is to forget what one has been learning all throughout his life !! Maalik baksho !!

Smile Smile mein...

Days ago

‘Prediction was for Sunshine, but its raining heavily. Weather department isn’t working It seems’ – He smiled.
I smiled – ‘What could they do? I prayed for rain today’
‘Ha Ha….I prayed for Sunshine, how come your prayers got heard?’-He smiled.
I smiled – ‘Connection. If you know whom you are addressing prayers to, prayers get answered. If there is no addressee for a letter, who would reply back then?’

Today

‘These days you aren’t praying properly!!’-He smiled.
He smiled. I asked –‘why? what happened?’
‘It didn’t rain heavily today’- He smiled.
I smiled.

Often when Graham and I sit together, we end up discussing weather. The weather outside is so refreshing these days that even eyes appreciate. Graham knows how rains bring smile on my face, and I know how much he looks forward for a sunny day. Today too we were sitting and talking about weather when he reminded me of the remarks that I had given days ago.

Graham – Sun-hill how different are we culturally!! You folks like rains and we admire sunny weather. It’s nice to meet people with different psychologies.

Sunil – Grey-um, I would say how similar we are!! Both of us don’t like what we have seen in abundance.
Both of us smiled.

Oh God !

Caz, as she likes to be addressed as, is a friend from work. Often Caz and I together have walked on way back to home from work. Our talks revolved around TV shows, Indian and English cultures, colleagues etc and not forgetting the most important topic – God. Out of all these topics, God is the one where she has patiently listened without any comments. On one such walk, Caz mentioned – ‘Sunil, I don’t believe in God.’
Respecting her sentiments, I decided that I won’t discuss this anymore. Probably that was the reason why she kept quiet while I talked of quotations, parables etc from scriptures or other sources. That was April 2009.

Not many days passed before we both had to work late nights. The project had gone really bad, and the only way to deliver it on time was to put some extra efforts. We both sat late hours, spent weekends, holidays in office trying to make code work. Every time she made some change, and I tested – result was a failure again. ‘Oh God! Let me try something else’, ‘Oh God! Why doesn’t this work now?’, ‘Oh God! ..’, nothing seemed to work – Caz’s face would go pale as mine. Her sadness and helplessness was obvious from her remarks – and to be honest my state wasn’t different either. Just that I tried to show my balance with my silence. Both of us were exhausted and finally thought of taking a short break.

As I grabbed a piece of Pizza, I couldn’t resist adding – ‘Caz you know?’
Caz – ‘What?’
I – ‘The other day you mentioned you don’t believe in God, and now you were taking His refuge is every single line. Were you making fool out of me? You…..’

I still recall smile on her face which accompanied one on my face.

From the same experience, I admit that being a believer (at least I call myself one) I never thought of seeking blessings when I felt exhausted. But one who called herself as a non-believer made efforts to include and pick strength from God. Her talks may not have sounded like prayers, but at least she called our Savior. And Savior too fulfilled His promise – Include Him in all your ways and He will make all your paths straight! Soon her prayers were answered and we found a fix for our problem. Miracles like this happen now and then, can’t say that I sat down to write a Miracle, instead an experience where I learnt that even if child rejects the existence of father, father still clings to the child.

I meet people who call themselves atheists, I meet people who call themselves believers, I meet people who call themselves religious, I meet people who call themselves spiritual - trying to distinguish themselves from the others. And I wonder where lies the difference? Does vision from Moon distinguish India or England?

Even I want to learn

Chottu, just imagine if you get two gifts from your US friends.

Friend 1 sends you a gift worth 1000 dollars. However, to get that dispatched you need to pay postage worth 100 dollars and to send him an acknowledgment receipt you spend another 100 dollars.

Friend 2 sends you a gift worth 50 dollars. Here you dont have to pay anything.

Which gift would you appreciate more?

Sheelu, my brother, asked me this question on my recent trip to India. Before I could calculate the worth of first gift which was net 800 dollars, he answered himself - I think you should appreciate the gift from Friend 2.

For next hour or so, he mentored me on Unconditional actions - your acts are valuable as long as those are unconditional. The moment you start expecting, holding grudges...anything you have done so far looses its importance. You may do less, but do what ever keeps you grudge-less. Friend 1 might have spent 1000 dollars but his act costed you 200 dollars, however Friend 2 spent less but he did not ask anything in return. Cherish Friend 2 in your life, because his acts are unconditional.

The same thing I have been hearing from him for so many years, and even on this trip while he explained me this old message - I felt as if its new to me. Sheelu perhaps wants me to learn that what ever acts I do are unconditional, are something that I enjoy from core of my heart..no matter even if those are limited. Because this is what will keep me and others around me happy !!

Babaji....Thanks your mentoring !!!

Simple yet powerful

I met this brother in one of the chat sessions.

Till date, it is the first and final conversation we have had. As our talks progressed, it unfolded that he is out of his country for studies; he further disclosed that he has stopped offering Namaz five times a day, as his hectic schedule in college doesn’t allow him to do so. Without talking too much in depth, we did agree on how much easy living becomes when we include Allah in our day to day tasks. As we spoke of Allah every now and then, brother remembered his olden days and perhaps felt that he should start offering his Namaz as regular. He promised to offer Namaz five times a day. As heard often, I just added – “That’s great! Let’s try to remember Allah in every breath. “

Before our chat session could end, this brother asked me of my nationality. I said –‘Indian’. ‘Are you a Muslim?’ was his last question. ‘Yeah’ – was a quick answer.

Since then I haven’t come across this brother. I don’t even remember if I asked his name. But till date that feeling of thankfulness is afresh. Often when I come across souls being particular about any religion, sect, group – I recall your blessings Maalik. Born in a Hindu family, educated in a Christian school, with company of Sikh friends, I was taught to appreciate Allah.

Words fall short to thank you for the bliss that you have brought into my life. May I remember to thank you Maalik!!

And please bless that may we all understand your simple yet powerful and life turning messages!!

Contributions

Lately it unfolds to me that the biggest contribution you can make in anyone's life is by making him/her feel good about himself/ herself, and similarly worst you can do to some one is by hurting his/her self respect.

And when I think of relationships, I feel this is one of the keys.

I haven't left this habit yet but looking forward to a living where I can contribute positively in lives of those around. And that needs your Magical Touch !!

Always remember – He’s.....

Once, a saint and his son were on way to seek Babaji’s darshan. As they crossed a market on their way, the father thought of carrying some mangoes for Babaji. He stopped at a mango shop and started checking the mangoes. The fruit seller showed varieties of mangoes, and also started mentioning about the prices. However the saint wasn’t satisfied with the quality being offered, so before moving to the next shop this saint finally asked fruit seller if he had anything better to offer. Fruit seller mentioned that there was another quality too, which was priced almost double the cost of highest priced quality saint had already seen. Saint expressed his wish to see this quality as well. This quality seemed to be the best, so saint with out a second thought bought One Kilo.

Before saint could pay the price, his son checked if they could buy some mangoes for home too. Saint happily agreed to this request. Saint asked fruit seller to pack one more kilo of mangoes but this time the ones with lowest price. Both son and the fruit seller were surprised to hear. Son however managed to ask another question – Father, if you have seen all qualities and found that one with the highest price is the best among all, the one you also are buying for Babaji, shouldn’t we be taking the same best quality for everyone at home? Or are you short of money?

Father smiled and explained – Son, I have enough money for us to buy another Kilo of the highest priced mangoes but I don’t want to give myself a feel that I am at par with Satguru. Tomorrow, we can come and buy mangoes with better quality and double this price I wouldn’t mind but at this time, when we are buying mangoes for Babaji and also ourselves, we cannot compare with what we are offering Babaji.

When I was hearing this incident from my elder bro, the very first thing I felt was why this saint differentiated? Did he miss seeing Nirankar’s form in his family members? Perhaps not, his expression there was just to give his son a message. A message that my brother gives me often, do not think even in your dreams that you and Guru stand at same level.
Always remember – He’s higher.

All rounder wish

Dated : 12 April 2007.

*****************************************

Dear Manik,

We wish in the holy feet of Almighty God that He keeps you in His feet throughout your life and showers all His blessings on you.

May you receive all comforts of life more than you deserve and desire. May your body remain healthy, mind at peace and there should be morethan enough money to serve yourself, your family and all the saints.

May God bless you with 'His darshan', the most precious gift anyone canget in one's life from God!!

Many many happy returns of the day,

With love,

All of us.

**************************************

Atleast One

Days ago, I sat opposite to Dimple bhabhi discussing about Amrit Auntie and her contribution in lives of souls around. Amrit Auntie - all I recall is her friendly support.
Ijazat hai? - I asked Dimple bhabhi.
Dimple bhabhi smilingly said - Abhi nahin. Pehle koi baat sunao.
I was in a hurry to leave for home but she insisted that we talk for some more minutes. Amidst our regular talks, she started speaking - bhaiya meri life ka ek nicchod hai jo aapse share karna chahti hoon. If I think of Mummy, I recall her as a mother more than a mother in law. I really enjoyed my relation with her. In our lives, we are daughters to some one, wife to some one, husband to some one, and similary so many relations we have. Bhaiya, waise to sab hi relations enjoy karne chahiye par kam se kam ek rishta aise ho jo aap thoroughly enjoy karo. Life ke end mein agar peeche dekho to ek relation aisa zarur ho jismein aap aap ho.
Don't know why but I understood what she meant.

Ya ! Kind of

I wasn’t expecting him to speak, but he did. “Sunil, Can I ask you one question?”
“Of course, Stefan... Shoot!” was my reply.
“Are you a Christian?” Stefan asked. I was sitting with Stefan, the business analyst, to discuss some important project work when he stopped me in between. I smiled. Stefan repeated his question.
“Are you a Christian?” this time question was answered “Ya, kind of”. Now Stefan too smiled.
“What does that mean?” was the next question for me. I knew this is not going to be easy. So I picked up the notes, inverted those and drew the diagram. While Stefan watched what I was doing, I started labeling those concentric circles, and spoke –“Every religion consists of three parts, the outer part being mythology, the central being ritual and the inner most being Spiritual Crux. If you go in depth of every religion, the outer two may be different because of time, region etc but the third inner most part is same for all. Be it Catholic, Protestant etc, all of us are trying to follow teachings of Lord Christ. So where’s the difference? Remove styles of eating, dressing, mode of prayer etc etc what remains? We are praying the same Lord, so aren’t we same? Religion for me is just spiritual crux; rest two will change every moment. So, Yes I am a Christian but in normal day to day terms I was born in a Hindu family.”
I never tried to know whether he understood what I spoke. I was busy, caught up with my own thoughts and thanking Almighty, “Wow!! United Kingdom, Financial Institution, Business Analyst, Project Meeting and Spiritual Crux??” I couldn’t have dreamt of speaking all this in such atmosphere. Mind, body and intellect stand apart when you come in picture.
People walking around the bank, carrying pounds in their pockets, crossing with thoughts of mortgages, tax saving schemes – No one knew what these two different colored gentlemen were discussing. Had they heard, they would have understood that a bridge was under construction.
A bridge which can help two hearts to touch each other despite all differences of color, race, language, culture, diet etc.

Any Regrets?

"I wish I could have come to this point in my life without hurting so many people..especially the people I have loved."
Years ago, I was holding a copy of the original book 'Conversations with God' but never came across this line. But today I did...
...and If I still can correct myself, I will be a true learner.

Humane Touch

“Sunil, you know Matt is really happy with the progress. And I have some surprise for you but I won’t tell you now.When I come down to see Matt, I will speak to you“.
Natasha, my Manager here at client site mentioned this to me couple of days ago. Often as it happens in corporate world, whenever a person receives an appreciation from someone, there follows a chain of appreciation emails. Here at my work place, there’s an appreciation certificate that is given to people for their extraordinary accomplishments. I guess Natasha was looking for Matt, her Manager, to accompany her when she would present this appreciation certificate to me.
Natasha turned at my desk couple of hours later. However she came alone – possibly Matt wasn’t around. And she started – “Sunil, It’s been wonderful working with you. Matt and I both are happy with the commitment you have shown for the project. And to appreciate that I have brought this for you ...”
I smiled but I couldn’t carry that smile for long when I heard ‘...Coffee vouchers” from her. She handed over those coffee vouchers to me and I thanked her with a fake smile. I was taken aback as this was something I hadn’t expected. Natasha sensed that something had gone wrong but then she asked me again – “Is everything alright? Aren’t you excited?” Just to make sure that I don’t disappoint her, I added – “Of course I am and thanks for the coffee vouchers, we’ll use them when complete team joins for coffee “Perhaps by this dialogue I was trying to give an impression that I am a team player but deep inside I knew I had missed this moment’s enjoyment by some self centered thoughts.
Natasha went away and left me in thoughts, I should have enjoyed that compliment but it was her who enjoyed that more. She did appreciate the work and in her own special way also acknowledged my efforts. It took a while before I forgave myself; for not valuing her humane touch that she gave by offering me something that I am fond of.
Also a reminder from Babaji reached my eyes yesterday; “the most important things in our lives are not things.” However it seems that it’s a life time’s effort to understand and live this reminder. But nevertheless, I was happy today after talking to Patrick.
Patrick, another colleague at client site, said a similar thing today – “Sunil, you are doing a good job”. And I smiled as I remembered the incident that I had had with Natasha. “Are you serious Patrick?” I asked with a smile. Patrick nodded his head in Yes. And I smiled again and said – “Thank you”.
Reason for my smile wasn’t that someone had appreciated my work but was that through this smile I was rewarding myself for not missing the beauty of present moment and also for acknowledging this humane touch.

उलझदा पता नी क्यूँ हां !!

मिलया सी मान जी नू, भगती दा सहज जीवन
शक्ति दी दौड़ विच ओह, उलझदे पता नी क्यूँ ने !!

Mishra ji was standing ahead of me in line for Namaskar, and after bowing down head infront of mahapursh on stage, Mishra ji asked
"शास्त्री जी मैंने आपकी किताब, अन्धकार से प्रकाश की और चार बार पढ़ी है पर समझ नहीं पाया"

Shastri ji smiled and even before he could speak, thoughts went in my mind -
"यह क्या कहा मिश्राजी ने, शास्त्री जी ने यही कहना है की एक बार और पढ़ लो"

I have heard a lot about Shastri ji, from Shastri ji & for Shastri ji but nothing more has marked my mind than his few words,
" वो तो बहुत पुरानी है, अब तो और बहुत कुछ लिखा है संतो ने वो पढ़लो"

More than an answer to Mishra ji's query, line was a shock was for my thoughts. A book which would have inspired so many souls for Gyan, would have clarified so many doubts of souls who had taken gyan - Author of the same book was sitting infront and mentioning "Read something new written by other saints". Often I have seen people sharing their own writings, rarely have seen an author praising another author. The scene doesnt end here - the learning is to be picked and lived. But again as said by Maan ji in above lines, the aim was to live a life full of saint hood and simplicity, don't why there are pauses on this journey which arrive due to one's own short comings.

Meet John, The Taylor.

John , whom I address as 'Darzi' because his surname happens to be Taylor, is an extra-ordinary colleague. Of all the people I work with, he stands apart. Not because he and I are great friends but because I have failed to understand our relationship which has sometimes been with smiles and sometimes with plain expressions.

Anyways, I am not to comment on relationships or anything else but to thank Almighty for reminding me to continue living stampless. Once in a while, the white board near my desk carries the learnings that I have heard in Sangat. John and I had been struggling today to solve PODCS issues and amidst our conversation he asked pointing towards my white board, ' Sunil, from where do you bring these thoughts?' and I was ' I do attend some spiritual meetings and there I hear these teachings '. John seemed little surprised and then he asked me - 'So you are religious'. As soon as I heard him say that I said -' No, I am spiritual'. I couldnt believe my ears when he gave another plain face and said, " What's the difference !!!! "

For the first time in my life, I had heard spirituality and religion were different. This was when I had landed in UK. People are sensitive towards this topic I was told. However for me, religion has always been a uniting factor, and thats what I understand by Spirituality. Waking at this time, eating this, sleeping in this direction etc cannot change my inner self but thats what people around seem to understand from Religion. However, irony with me was that I too picked up this word 'Spiritual'. Not because I started differentiating between these two words but because I didnt want to hurt anyone's feelings. By God's grace I am happy even if some one says I am religion-less person or not a spiritual guy or anything.. And again His grace that His and mine relation is above any definitions or words. Call it spirituality, religion or nothing - He is what He is and I am what He has made me.

Perhaps it was the same concern for the sensitivity of local souls that I had said 'I am spiritual'. But again a hammer striked on mind when John commented , 'whats the difference !!!' Ofcourse, there's no difference. and even if it is, its NMD ( as John says - Not My Department ).

John you really are Darzi, who is stitching two torn pieces of spiritual world and religious world.

Sunday

I remember watching movie Sunday some months ago. Cannot recall starcast or anything else - just that it was a story of a girl who did not remember her one sunday. And magnified version of her story would be what most of us have lived - A life without sundays or A life only of sundays :-)
Born in a family set up which was already touched by your hands Babaji - from childhood till date, life has had no sundays. I remember, family members turning off TV around 1000-1030 on Sundays - Its time for Sangat. Me and siblings often used to plead - Mom please, Mickey Mouse .. Chandrakanta .. Mahabharat.. But Parents never ever cared to listen. My friends used to discuss about the cartoon shows and movies they saw on Sunday, and for me life had no sundays. Parents dont understand - I am a kid and I dont even understand what vichars are, why sangat at this age? But still I used to go to meet friends in Sangat.
Those were the years, and now life says thank you Babaji and parents. I dont have words to put Babaji - Thank you so much. Each small incident that happens in life where you show your presence and touch, It relates back to those teachings that went into ears of a small child who was unhappy for his sunday less living.
Prayers with folded hands Babaji, please continue blessing with your company. Life would have been meaningless without your presence. I have fallen short of the followings so far, dont know how the future is going to be - but with your presence, life seems to be cherished. A sunday less living :)