Wednesday, March 11, 2009

Any Regrets?

"I wish I could have come to this point in my life without hurting so many people..especially the people I have loved."
Years ago, I was holding a copy of the original book 'Conversations with God' but never came across this line. But today I did...
...and If I still can correct myself, I will be a true learner.

Thursday, March 5, 2009

Humane Touch

“Sunil, you know Matt is really happy with the progress. And I have some surprise for you but I won’t tell you now.When I come down to see Matt, I will speak to you“.
Natasha, my Manager here at client site mentioned this to me couple of days ago. Often as it happens in corporate world, whenever a person receives an appreciation from someone, there follows a chain of appreciation emails. Here at my work place, there’s an appreciation certificate that is given to people for their extraordinary accomplishments. I guess Natasha was looking for Matt, her Manager, to accompany her when she would present this appreciation certificate to me.
Natasha turned at my desk couple of hours later. However she came alone – possibly Matt wasn’t around. And she started – “Sunil, It’s been wonderful working with you. Matt and I both are happy with the commitment you have shown for the project. And to appreciate that I have brought this for you ...”
I smiled but I couldn’t carry that smile for long when I heard ‘...Coffee vouchers” from her. She handed over those coffee vouchers to me and I thanked her with a fake smile. I was taken aback as this was something I hadn’t expected. Natasha sensed that something had gone wrong but then she asked me again – “Is everything alright? Aren’t you excited?” Just to make sure that I don’t disappoint her, I added – “Of course I am and thanks for the coffee vouchers, we’ll use them when complete team joins for coffee “Perhaps by this dialogue I was trying to give an impression that I am a team player but deep inside I knew I had missed this moment’s enjoyment by some self centered thoughts.
Natasha went away and left me in thoughts, I should have enjoyed that compliment but it was her who enjoyed that more. She did appreciate the work and in her own special way also acknowledged my efforts. It took a while before I forgave myself; for not valuing her humane touch that she gave by offering me something that I am fond of.
Also a reminder from Babaji reached my eyes yesterday; “the most important things in our lives are not things.” However it seems that it’s a life time’s effort to understand and live this reminder. But nevertheless, I was happy today after talking to Patrick.
Patrick, another colleague at client site, said a similar thing today – “Sunil, you are doing a good job”. And I smiled as I remembered the incident that I had had with Natasha. “Are you serious Patrick?” I asked with a smile. Patrick nodded his head in Yes. And I smiled again and said – “Thank you”.
Reason for my smile wasn’t that someone had appreciated my work but was that through this smile I was rewarding myself for not missing the beauty of present moment and also for acknowledging this humane touch.