Birthdays..Facebook..Time..

Not so often would you come across such a question on your birthday 'Is there any particular wish or statement by someone which has resonated in your mind since morning?'

Made me think.

One from last year perhaps. A statement from Nidhi Ji. 

(Nidhi Ji - If you read this someday, Please believe I can 'imagine' the proud smile on your face.)

While wishing me last year she made sure that she adds a special touch to it - '....Bhaiya I wish on your birthday because I remembered it not because I saw it on Facebook.' She has not been a fan of Facebook - this I have known but had never thought about how we often tend to connect to our friends only on their special days that too because we see a reminder. However, I personally don't fully disapprove of the Facebook reminders, perhaps on one day people make someone feel special - even if it is for one day and that too because of reminders. Though it would have been better if we remembered people and their days without any external help.

Yesterday was filled with connections - wishes from family and friends, even from the Facebook world. Not much different I would say - same as it must be for everyone. I was at work yesterday therefore was not able to spend quality time with the wishers. A learning that I would like to take forward from yesterday is to take off from work on birthdays - there's a world that would connect to you on this day and you must receive it 'fully'. At so many points during the day, I felt I wasn't doing justice to the friends who took out time from their schedules to connect with me. Anyhow, there is something to learn and take forward - that's more important.

For many years I have thought how nice it would be to have everyday as a birthday - one receives so much love and warmth from friends which on normal days one doesn't hear. I don't think that warmth, love is absent on other days and suddenly rises on your birthday but think everyone is busy on their chores, and seldom they pause to express it. Birthdays are just such opportunities when people come to express via their wishes. However yesterday I was thinking the opposite - how about birthdays being days with not super jet speed? At least you don't feel guilty of not being able to give time to people as you would do normally. Its strange - normally people don't get time to pause and on this day you don't get time to reciprocate. Anyhow, not so serious topic to think about :)

Crux is to be thankful - even if people wish because of Facebook, take out time to receive gracefully, and when it comes for you to wish - try that you make people are a part of your life so that you don't have to depend on external reminders. And most importantly - treat everyone, everyday as it is their birthday :)

Mrs. Devsi

I don't remember what standard I was studying in when this incident took place. All I remember is it was Mrs. Devsi's class and she was checking notebooks. She came as an substitute for some other teacher who was absent that day. Normally on such occasions substitute teacher wont bother teaching their own subjects. They were just present to make sure class didn't make much noise.

So was Mrs. Devsi present there - and she preferred to utilize that time by checking notebooks. Just to introduce Mrs. Devsi - She was (and is) teacher in strictest sense - she was gentle at heart but strict enough to make sure pupil learnt for what they were in school - she taught us grammar. I wouldn't be wrong if I say almost whole school was scared of her .... actually her "pinches". A single mistake you make, she would put her hand in your half sleeves shirt and "pinch" you until you realize your mistake. She would also use canes at times, but not that often.

Looks like I am going on to tangent, so I'll end the introductions. This was Mrs. Devsi. And I will go back to the story....

So Mrs. Devsi was present in our class as a substitute teacher and she preferred to utilize that time by checking notebooks. All children were busy too - doing something or the other - some chatting, some playing 'tick tack toe', some 'bollywood', some 'sweet 16'. Class was little noisy - you could hear all children, also Mrs. Devsi who once in a while asked for a spare pencil for doing corrections in some notebooks. Everyone seemed to be enjoying this 'free class'. I can't remember what I was doing but I too was busy - perhaps busy in paying ear to what others were gossiping around. It so happened that I again heard that Mrs. Devsi was asking for pencil. I looked in my pencil box and took one spare pencil to her. To my astonishment, Mrs Devsi got up from her seat in anger. To catch everyone's attention she banged the duster on table once or twice and shouted  - 'There's only one student in my class, and that is Sunil. I have been asking for pencil from some time but only he has heard & responded." I then realized no one else in the class had got up to give her a pencil. I was taken aback by her reaction - never expected such a statement from her. But Mrs. Devsi said this in front of whole class -  I too felt nice, not only she.

More than 15 years have passed since this incident happened but I haven't refreshed it more than 15 times since then. However, now feel like reminding myself of it again and again - but more in spiritual context. I seriously wonder if Mrs. Devsi can feel nice when I heard her once, will Guru not feel great if I listen to what He is asking? On similar lines, deep within there is desire to make Guru happy by following what He is teaching.

But there is difference too! At that time, perhaps it was immaturity, I myself felt nice when Mrs. Devsi said I was the only student in class. In spiritual arena, I realize there can be no competition between students. All you can expect is, by grace, that "There's one student, Sunil, in my class". There is no room for 'Only' word in spirituality - and perhaps that's not important too. What's important is following what you hear...

God bless Mrs. Devsi - where ever she is still teaching!

25/10

Its been an year today since Dad left his physical form. Throughout the year, I think I have used "Dad" word more regularly than ever, and of course missed & remembered him more often. Thanks to Babaji, there is a deep rooted understanding that Dad is so close by therefore feel less guilty of what I did do or did not do.

365 days of this year, I believe ears have heard words death, dad, relations, soul, salvation etc with much more attention. Definitely there have been times when the comfort of the physical form was missed more than the non-physical presence around. But the assurance that non-physical form is so close by to support has stayed along. Since birth have heard that God Knowledge is important for salvation of the soul. However in this past year, have felt that God Knowledge is not only important for self delivery but also important for members of family. It has been such a strength to know that Dad completed his bodily journey only to go back to the source. I cannot thank often for this blessing of God Knowledge on the family including self though there is still so much to be imbibed.

Thank you Babaji for holding the family & me through various forms. Wish the love that you have given me, in strong and silent ways, may I be able to reciprocate. 

Dad, miss you as well! 

Another stepping stone

Would she be Okay in England? One of the things that brought me anxiety while preparing for Mom's arrival in UK was her unfamiliarity with 'English' language. From rest of the angles I think I had somehow assured myself but her ability to communicate with only 'English speaking' crowd was something I was struggling with. However a sudden click reminded me that even though she doesn't know English but at least her son does. I can be her translator. In case we get to spend time with some 'English only' people, I will do translation. While my mind was busy rushing these thoughts, it also gave me few more mixed thoughts of gratitude & pride - Isn't it great? Thanks Babaji that I went to Convent School and had all education in English. Looks like Babaji already started preparing for her visit - years before 2011 by sending me to an English medium school. Good that I know English, else it would have been tough. Both of us in England, without English :) Not now! With her translator son, She'll be Okay. Didn't realize when these thoughts also brought back hidden pride of being better equipped with English Language.

But thankfully the pride soon changed back to gratitude. It didn't take long to reload one of the memories from childhood when I was complaining to Mom about her level of education and she gave back a life long lesson. Mom, do you know how embarrassing it gets in school to say that my parents haven't even done their class Xth? My expert Mom, without any waste of second threw ball back at me, "I agree that we aren't that educated but are making sure you don't repeat same thing. At least be thankful for this." In matter of seconds, it seemed that googly was at origin and all complaints vanished.

I think it was this very statement which took back pride that had started to creep in and returned thoughts of gratitude. Gratitude towards Guru and also parents who despite their level of education made it possible for us to have best of education. Not just worldly but also spiritual education. In the same set of incident also, on one angle it might appear that I have translated and helped her to communicate in an alien country but on a better angle it is she who has helped her. My being able to help her was only possible because she has equipped me with English language.

Thanks Babaji, this time the trap of false pride wasn't deep enough and You saved again. When I look back to reflect on incidents of life so far, I am reminded of many such mistakes. Mistakes that have reminded me of my shortsightedness but thankfully such mistakes have also become stepping stones to improvise and carve a better Sunil.

Experiences still purifying!

If I admit, I would have to say it all started with 'Purifying Experiences'. This wonderful collection of experiences of Prof Puri comes in mind often. Like others, I too had gone back to thank Puri Sahib after reading this book. A truly 'Simple' book - simple language & simple day to day experiences, but there was also something 'Special' about it. Spiritually it inspired, at the same time motivated - to see what power words could have to transform an individual. I had witnessed it on me and so was inspired to pass on. Aaawh - pass on! Young over confident years - without realizing that I have neither comparable set of experiences nor any literary skills, I still wanted to write and share. Well not to blame fully the over confidence, I did pick up this hobby of writing which I started to enjoy and hopefully still do.

Well I didn't start to write about my hobby, but about Prof Puri. Many including me have been inspired by his spiritual talks - many know. However for me, he also became an inspiration to write. I perhaps did pick up, some sort of hobby from his book but still haven't picked up the approach & wisdom what he lived and inspired. One such attributes of his profile was humility. One of the emails I exchanged with Puri Sahib re-iterated his humble self when I asked permission to use his writings -

My dear Respected Sunil Ji,

Dhan Nirankar Ji. Anything that enhances the cause of the Mission does not need any permission. You may feel free to use the material anyway you like or deem fit. Thanks to Birmingham Saints too to keep this humble self in their memory.
My only anxiety is who would care for these worthless rubbish scattered thoughts. I am not at all a writer.

With deep regards,

Das Puri

I can't recall what I had sent him back on this email but surely want to say that this email often comes as a sweet yet strong reminder that I stand no where. It was definitely shocking to see how one who had inspired people to write, was so carefree & selfless of his 'own' writing skills. People like me who often write page or two fall into trap of identifying themselves as writers, but yet who have written on hearts of thousands proclaim, "I am not at all a writer."

Puri Sahib, Sach mein kamaal ho gaya!

Power of ONE.

Yesterday was talking to few saints who have shaped me during my stay in Bangalore and are doing the same even now, in one or the other form. I was again on memory lane to remind myself of learnings that I have picked while on Bangalore Platform. One such memory apartment that I opened door of was of last few days in a familiar town. As time for my exit neared, the fear of not then familiar gripped - New town, new people, new work atmosphere, new friends, "new" sangat, new efforts to form another comfort zone. While there was a desire for change, but welcoming the change was becoming bit tough.

On one shiny night, occupied with same thoughts I was standing outside trying to connect myself with the creator. Kept gazing at sky with appreciation - the beauty of tinkling stars, wonderful moon, how creator has brought creation into existence, despite lands spread on planet earth how moon shines across places, while earth is so big same sky surrounds everywhere, in UK too this sky would look same, often moon will look such beautiful....hang on! same sky, same moon, same sun...same creation despite different nations, wont creator be same too? lands may be different, cultures may be different, people outwardly might look different, but we all share same earth, so is creator - so why are you worrying? Just a matter of analysis, and I was motivated enough without any fear to look forward to change, change became pleasant, not familiar seemed familiar, new was comforting as old - all because of One creator!

A simple revelation that happened at time when it was needed most. Although had heard about Oneness of creator from so young age, but at that time was able to relate it to more closely. Often one does get to hear One God, One Allah, One Energy etc etc but realizing it is a different experience. If you have realized it, it works wonders even in such minute day to day walks. Rightly do they say - Power of ONE.

Wash basin in Men's loo.

The note on the wash basin reminded me of the vending machine incident that Rahul Ji once shared. Let me take his shoes for narration purposes, because my experience with wash basin was not too different from his' with the vending machine.

I went to use this vending machine at my work. I inserted 20p coin and waited for my drink to arrive. However, there was no response. Inserted another coin to check whether the outcome was any different. But no, it was same. It took 40p to understand that the vending machine wasn't functioning properly. Left this vending machine aside, and then selected normal drinking water from neighboring machine. While I was sipping my drink, I saw a colleague inserting coin in the faulty vending machine. Not to my surprise, there was again no response from the machine. However, this gentleman was surprised. And bit angry too, which was obvious from how he banged the vending machine with his foot. He left from the scene, but I continued to enjoy the water in the cup.
Within few minutes, there was another colleague who came down to the faulty vending machine and repeated what we both had already done to have our drinks. Again, there was no drink in return and this gentleman left without making fuss. Soon, he was back with a sticky note in his hands which he placed on the vending machine. The note said, "Not working".

Now back into my shoes, this washbasin in Men's loo is faulty from days. Everyday, you turn ON the tap and water clogs in the basin. I have been noticing it for past few days, and have started to avoid using. I suppose many would have done the same. But today, it was different. There was toilet paper kept near tap, with a hand written note, "Out of Order". I couldn't control my smile which took me back to the vending machine which I personally haven't used but have heard about. And more so to the lesson which Rahul Ji shared, that world is surrounded by so many people, some crib about the way things are, some mere observe, and some actually make an effort to contribute positively by doing whatever is in their hands. Situation was same, but all reacted differently. That's what differentiates us.

Ah...!!

2 ON 10 - Air travel

My reply is still pending. I'm talking of the discussions that Manik and I were having few months rather years ago. I asked Manik to give me a list of 10 things which he would want to do before he dies. It takes some time to answer that, and so took Manik. But finally he handed me 10 things on his to-do list. Quite obvious, he asked me to do same. However, I didnt reply and till date my reply is pending.
Today was the last day for Mumbai Samagam. Last year same time we children along with parents were present there to seek blessings. It wasnt only the samagam I was excited about but also the journey. Eversince I remember, I had thought about travelling in airplanes and as time passed, I had opportunities to make airtravels 2-3 times a day. During one of such journeys clicked a thought, 'why not arrange air travel for parents? all of us have had opportunities to travel in plane but what about parents?'. Once in a while I did share this thought with them. As expected, parents were not so keen about spending unnecessarily especially when an alternative was available. Somehow last year, convinced Dad and Mom that they accompany us for Mumbai Samagam and that too in airplane. The journey and stay was quite pleasant. Thanks Babaji.
Today while watching Mumbai Samagam, thoughts connected back to our visit last year, the airtravel where parents too flew with me. It was like a dream come true to make a journey with them on plane. Thanks Babaji.
Coming back to the point where I started, this air travel with parents was my 2 ON 10, one of the things I would have wanted to do before I die. Thanks Babaji for making it possible and timely, no one amongst us would have thought that it was the only opportunity to do that travel with Dad. Few months later, Dad went back to Nirankar. Today when I think of this 2 ON 10, I am satisfied that this was achieved as desired. Now 9 remain.
Unlike Manik, I dont have the list handy. As the time passes I am unfolding what could be on this list. 1 is already known, 1 is achieved, 8 still to unfold. Perhaps that was the reason why reply is still pending.

Handle with care!

Finished watching some documentary about how children were being trained at some religious organisational centre to grow up as a religious political figure or something like this - Its all confusing for me! Really felt sorry for the children. These young minds are so delicate, why couldn't people understand there's love which is more important than any religious ritualistic practice, if you want to train children, train them to be better humans - one who can love, tolerate, forgive, etc etc.
Its sad feeling to see how we as human race do so much harm to our future generations, its not only wrong understanding of religion, somewhere physical abuse, somewhere mental abuse, somewhere sexual abuse...we just leave children to struggle and live their future lives in situations which no one would understand, neither would they themselves understand.
People think of death as a pain, they dont understand how much pain they have caused by leaving such impressions on these young minds.

God bless! Bless us to be compassionate human race, be responsible human beings, bless these children who struggle in their minds somewhere, somewhere hidden in their rooms, who need your presence! Like our soul sees the unseen supersoul, wish our minds could also read the unwritten tags on these young minds, "Handle with care". God bless!

we never know how long

Couple of years, perhaps around 12 years, ago Babaji were touring Yamuna Nagar. Stay was at Amrit Auntie's Kothi. Jee and Mom were perhaps at Kothi for some sewa, so I was taking liberty to watch television late in the evening. Other family members were fast asleep. It wasn't silence around, but still I could hear the ringing of the phone very clear in middle of the night. I answered that call. After exchanging greetings, the caller asked if he could speak to Babaji. As the caller spoke more, I could identify that Vivek Shauq ji was on other side. I very politely tried to answer that this number was kept at home, and Babaji would be available at xyz alternative number. Vivek Shauq ji thanked and after exchanging the greetings cut the call.

It took me a minute to grasp that I had just spoken to one of the actors. Before I could fully come out of thoughts of the short interaction, the phone rang again. I answered that new call but to my surprise it was same caller again. Another exchange of greetings, and Vivek ji apologized. I couldn't get what he was trying to convey, but soon he continued his apology, "apologies for waking you up in middle of your sleep". I smiled and explained him that I was anyways awake. We exchanged greetings and since then we both never spoke one to one.

Just wanted to share with you Vivek Ji, that your simple act of kindness has been with me in mind for years now and hopefully will keep reminding me that it takes just a simple act to be kind and we never know for how long that act of kindness will remain!