Days before day!

While scrolling across pages of nirankari magzine, came across these lines in Huzur's discources.."Some people ask why we repeatedly talk of death; we should talk of life. We talk of death because we are really concerned about life."

Perhaps have become more close to this word in past few days. I recall one of the discources which I heard in days of Bangalore where again stress was being laid on the importance of saintliness and knowing God Almighty. Huzur said, "as soon as you ask anyone to take out time for such things, man will resist with a reason that I am so busy that I dont have time even for dying. As if when death is due, it will ask that are you free now? should I visit? When one has to die, he will have to leave all chores in between."

Today when I was meeting saints, many a times dad's death was being discussed. Indeed it is sad to loose someone who has been a part of life so far but somewhere down the line I think we all know it, no one will remain forever. And being born in family where I was exposed to Huzur's teachings in early years, I think I like many others were being prepared for this day from day one. And knowing this has helped us shape our days before this day!

Puriji once said, - One thing I know I was born good, lived better and with Satguru's blessings will die best! Indeed those who have lived and died with you have seen the best of the worlds! Desire is that I too die with you holding me in your hands. Keep me with you, and let every moment be spent with you throughout the life, at last moment and thereafter!

Thanks Babaji! Thank you for shaping our lives.

He introduced Dad!

One of the saints who had come to offer his condolences on Dad's passing away started talking of his experiences with Dad. He mentioned, that one day he requested Dad to accompany him for a satsang program in some distant village. To his surprise Dad refused. Saint tried hard to convince Dad to accompany, also tried to know the reason for Dad's reluctance in accompanying but Dad :), Dad gave some strange reasons. After too much pressure from this saint, Dad agreed to accompany however asked the saint to pray that in Sangat one particular mahapursh doesn't come.
This was second surprise to saint, why would anyone pray that some particular mahapursh should not come to sangat. Anyhow, both of them went to sangat. Surprisingly, the mahapursh that Dad did not want to meet didn't come for Sangat. On way back, the saint who accompanied Dad, again asked why Dad was initially reluctant? why praying for mahapursh's absence? Finally Dad opened his mouth that the mahapursh he didnt want to meet was his old acquaintance who had once borrowed some amount of money from Dad. Due to poor financial state, this mahapursh never had managed to repay the sum even in 20ish years. So Dad was intentionally trying to avoid crossing this mahapursh, because he didnt want mahapursh to carry an impression, that in cover of sangat Dad was there to ask for his money. Dad's reluctance and prayers were to ensure that the mahapursh doesnt spoil the bliss in sangat due to some weird and false assumption.

Listening the incident obviously there was a sense of pride; to be born out of such person. However, eyes had tears when the saint continued to speak "Paise jinhone wapis dene hote hai unko lendaaro se chhipte bada dekha hai, aise pehli baar dekhe jinhone paise lene the aur woh paise dene walo se chhip rahe the".

Thankyou Babaji for 'this' Dad!

'Leg Uttey' syndrome

Lately I have been trying to recover from the 'Leg Uttey' syndrome. Have often noticed myself, and I believe even before noticing myself, I have been having this 'Leg Uttey' syndrome. As I was talking to one friend two years ago, "Have you noticed?, We have this Leg Uttey condition."
Surprised to this combination of words, he asked what does this mean? " Just notice when we sit together to talk something, say for example when we sit to talk about some topic, as soon as one finishes giving some example or quotation, the other person is eager to tell his example justifying the same theme of discussions." "Rarely does one notice that he hasn't listened fully to what other is saying. One example ends, and other starts, and followed by other, but there rare comes a point where one speaks and others just listen. Even when some one has spoken, often I am eager to add toppings to earlier speaker's point. There is no full stop to many such conversations. Doesnt this look like, we all struglling to say as if my leg should come "uttey"? ".

He smiled listening all this. Years have passed, and I dont know if this friend remembers these lines but definately I do, because I still need to improvise on this. Again, listening.. Art of Listening!!

Any field, but..

Last night I was running short of ideas for writing something for Shukar Series. So asked my brother, "Bro, if you had one thing to thank Satguru for, what would it be?". I wasn't surprised when he replied back with his usual humour " That Chottu is my brother". Knowing myself well, I knew he was trying to ignore the question by putting some weird answer. Well this is part 1 of the story.

Part 2 dates back to 1997 when I attended college. One of my favorites just because of one sentence has been Mrs Krishna Kaul. Then middle aged English lecturer once mentioned, "Go in whatever field you like Arts, Science, Music, it wont matter but make sure you excel. Excel so that you cannot be replaced." Years have passed by since then but mind still has an impression of this lecture actually one sentence of hers.

Last night as soon as Part 1 transpired, memories of Part 2 followed. Leaving the professional front aside for some moments, was relating this sentence to what Sheelu said. How wonderful would it be if I could excel in my relations? Brother, mother, father, sister, wife, friend, children proclaim that we couldn't have any better relationship than that with you. If you are brother to one, live relationship such that the brother cannot wish for any better brother. If you are a husband, excel in relationship that wife states that the life is beautiful just with you. If you are a wife, live such that the husband is forced to state that no one other than you. List would go on...whilst it has been easy to put the thoughts, not sure how easy would it be to implement and excel.

Hoping for a meaningful life, filled with excellence.

3 ON 10 - ART OF BALANCING SPEECH

As drafted on 08/10/10...

Moments ago, I was thinking how wonderful it is to be silent in relationships. To hear and not to react, just be a listener...quite opposite to what I learnt few years ago..

At that time for some reasons, I had opted 'just listen'. Quite new to such relationship and a new person on my side; it wasn't something that I was used to.
Around 2 or more than 2 years ago, we had just got committed. I wasn't used to to this relationship structure (lol !)...I think even till date I know nothing...anyways, I was quite new to this side of the world. I believe it happens during initial period of relationships, that you get to impress one another by being something you aren't but slowly and slowly you have to come back to being yourself and then it is accepted in mixed sense at times. I believe I was going through same period, so I had thought that in order to keep peace, I would try keeping quiet; its just another 50-60 years, somehow I will manage by silence. So I started just to play a part of listener in the conversations. One day, one more day, one more and so on it went for couple of days...slowly and slowly, I started getting frustrated by playing a listener.

I think it was divine intervention when I was called for this client orientation session. The session was kept by my company for motivating employees to speak when they are in meetings with clients. I could not understand much out of the session, as was more bothered by internal combat of some sort. But somewhere came the divine spark, when the presenter talked of benefits of speaking up. I do not know why and how, when I returned back I took it as a point to discuss with her the concerns I had in mind. Quite amazingly, those were so easily handled and I wondered what magic these two words had in the relation - "Speak Up". Ever since, anyone who has asked for a friendly advice in matters pertaining to relationships, this is what I have suggested "Speak Up". Speak Up because other end may not have a clue of what you are trying to say or ask...so Speak Up!! Quite surprisingly, this Mantra has worked...

Now coming to the thoughts I was having moments ago, being a married man I am ought to think that way :), I think the learning was half when I learnt "Speak Up", the second part is "To understand when not to Speak Up" . Wise is one who knows where to put a pause, often I realize that whatever I spoke was in no way a value add or a remark which was required.

There's still so much to learn, especially what was taught to me on the wedding day!! Hopefully this is something I would learn some day!

Another thing on the To-Do list - Art of balancing speech.

I have knowledge b.. ...

While having breakfast other day, I switched telly on. Scrolling through channels I stopped at some Indian channel which was airing epic Mahabharata. Recently have enjoyed seeing the conversation between Lord Krishna and Arjun in the Gita Gyan episodes, so didn't mind seeing the episode where all Pandavas, Lord Krishna go and meet Taatshree. Amidst the emotional conversation, Krishna asks Bhisham Pitaamah to share some words of wisdom with the pandavas. Amazingly Bhisham Pitaamah says that if you are here Krishna, who else is worthy to speak? Knowledge comes from you etc etc, this was but obvious statement. However, my thoughts come to a stand still when I recall Krishna's reply

I have Knowledge but you have experience.

I dont remember this dialogue from childhood days of my audience to this same epic. How remarkably Krishna accepts to be all-knower but still gives importance to His elders' experiences. There on I am trying to forgive myself for being intolerant of elders' seemingly un-knowledgable but possibly experienced acts. How many times I have been intolerant when I have seen elders doing something which never fitted my understanding of lawful living, but here was an example of how the role model Himself silently gave message of spiritual living. Perhaps the learning could also be talked in generic sense; why only elders, actually one has to be tolerant and respectful to every individual's experiences.

Having said this, nothing much has been achieved. There's still remaining another part: to experiment this tolerance and add to my own experience:-)

CONTENTMENT

While reading monthly magazine, I came across this word few hours ago. Thoughts took me back to the trip I had had in 2007 to Pune Mumbai. I landed in Pune from Bangalore and after spending a day or so, I and many youngsters made our way to Mumbai to attend Huzur's program. We all were together throughout the day in Pune, in journey and also through out the samagam. However our journey's back home were not together. They had to return back to Pune and I had to continue my onward journey. As samagam got over and everyone started to disperse, I kept coming across more saints from Mumbai. However saints from Pune stood at one side. While I was trying to attend more and more saints, I couldnt remove my eyes from one of the saints with whom I had travelled to Mumbai. It appeared that all of the Pune youngsters were getting late for their return but seeing I was busy, they stood aside not disturbing me. Time passed but nothing changed, I kept meeting more saints. Finally I saw all pune youngsters started to leave without saying a word. I wanted to bid them a bye, but wasnt able to interrupt the discussions I was having with Mumbai saints. Eyes said bye to each other. After some time, when I got a chance I rang one of the saints, asking her, actually complaining her "You didnt wait to say me a bye". A humble and sweet voice replied, "Bhaiya, I too wanted to say bye but saw that you were meeting saints here. We all were together for past two days, I think we all have had chance to spend time with you, now its turn for Mumbai saints to have your company. Even they should get your time".

Not to talk of the respect she showed for a co-follower, her contentment has always touched my heart. Till date if someone asks me of contentment, this is what I share.

Lol..Just checked my Balance!

On Sunday, I was waiting for cab to arrive so that I could travel to bus station. Instead of wasting time, I thought of withdrawing money from ATM. Sun was shining so strong that I wasn't able to clearly see the display. Somehow, I entered PIN and requested for 30 pounds from options displayed i.e. 10,20,30 etc. The card came out after sometime, I waited for money to be dispensed but nothing happened. I re-entered my card to try again, and this time options were displayed as 20, 40 etc..perhaps the 10 notes were no longer available that's why the ATM did not dispense the notes in first try. Anyhow, the story is not about 20 pounds, but of 30 pounds. I kept thinking about 30 pounds, and how to inform bank about the scandal that had happened....but it was sunday, so was caught up in thoughts trying to figure out the solution.
From no where the cab arrived, I opened the door to sit and before I could sit the driver wished, 'Cheer up! Its not end of the world' Lol..I smiled as if I had got 30 pounds back. Well, it wasnt 30 pounds that I got back but actually the flow of thoughts which had stopped because of 30 pounds. I was once again astonished to see your ways of reminding and nuturing our thoughts - Its not end of the world!
Just to complete the story, I didnt forget 30 pounds so checked the balance just now - statement says withdrawal of 20 pounds on Sunday. Possibly I had miskeyed on ATM display on some warning etc in the first attempt. I will possibly forget the 30 pounds now but I am stuck with the reminder, Its not end of the world :-)

Hello Brother! Brother!

Years ago, brother and I were walking in Samagam Grounds. Proceedings for the day had just completed and we were on our way to the tents. Inquisitive enough, I asked ‘why do saints get up during dhuni if it is being announced that please remain seated?’ Brother gave me some strange looks as if I had asked something wrong. Without much botheration to understand his gesture, I continued ‘Aren’t they doing wrong?’ I waited to see a Yes or No from his side, but he spoke, ‘aapko pasand nahi to aap mat utho’. When I had expected a Yes or No, I heard a very neutral answer from him that if you don’t like, don’t get up.
No wonder he reminds me often, “Jo kujh tenu changaa lagdea, khaa pi te vastar pa, duniya da updeshak banke, horr na jhagdey pyaa vadhaa “.

Zubaan ka Ras

I remember there was a book which I read in childhood, it contained small small stories with different moral. One of the stories was, Zubaan ka Ras...where a person who is passing by a new town feels hungry and he knocks a door, door is opened by an old lady. Man asks for food from the lady, and lady starts preparing food for this stranger..while she is preparing batter for the roties, this man starts asking questions, one being " Lady your door is so narrow, if your cow dies, how will you take the cow out of your door?" quite angry with this question lady throws the batter at man's face. Some passer by sees the liquid dripping on man's face, and asks anqiously "what is this?", to which this man says "zubaan ka ras". Moral that was told in the story was that be wise in your speech.
Although this story was heard in childhood years, but I think this is ageless learning as here lies the start of self improvement. If man takes a pause and starts analysing what he is speaking, or asking, he will be astonished to see how comforting or breaking his words are. Path to self improvement is definately long, but one who has conquered his words, he has made a start. Speech is not the final criterian to prove one's level of wisdom but definately is a milestone. If its said, that one who doesnt think wrong will not say wrong...it also seems true that one who wants to think right, should start saying right.

Are you religious?

Yesterday he was after me - Aapne bhagwaan ko dekha hai? I tried my best to ignore the question but he seemed rigid too - Aapne bhagwaan ko dekha hai? Quite surprisingly, I took few more minutes before we started talking of God Realisation.
I just look back and see those years of Bangalore, where I wanted to fly high and share this with everyone around. Nothing much has changed and yet everything seems changed. A small incident as from yesterday, when some one was asking about God Realisation and I felt like better not to answer.
Recently I read this on one of the banners from Samagam, and also received this as text, "Dharam ki sabse badi shiksha hai sehansheelta". "The greatest teaching of religion is tolerance", everyday there are numerous incidents where I see that the tolerance is no where around. Ofcourse, the answer is 'NO', if asked a question "Are you religious?". If religion teaches tolerance, there has to be tolerance in my life if I am religious. It has always been easy to talk of religion, God realisation, God knowledge but been tough to act religiously.
Perhaps it was the same thought yesterday when I didnt want to talk of God Realisation. Didnt want him to carry an impression of God Realised soul, if I still havent managed to live fully in God's realisation.
Having said that, there's more to ask from you - I do wish to fly again but this time with both the wings - realisation and practical living.

1 ON 10 - A Friendly Ear

Heard this from Shastri Ji last week - Once Baba Gurbachan Singh Ji was sitting on stage and namaskar was going on. Babaji called Shastri Ji close to himself and spoke "That particular mahapursh standing in queue for namaskar will take good amount of time..". Shastri Ji asked "So, should I take that mahapursh out of line? This way the namaskar line can advance normally." To this Babaji responded - "Shastri Ji, I am saying that mahapursh will take good amount of time, please do not interrupt him while he is speaking his heart.".
BANG!! went the chords in my heart!
Shastri Ji continued sharing that we should be a patient listener. We never know what comfort our listening can give to the speaker. Irrespective of whether there is any logic in talks we should be able to give an ear to the speaker.
another BANG!!
It seemed that I too could understand what he was trying to convey. All these years of transformation perhaps, I have witnessed what magic listening could do. Be it Amrit Auntie, Puri Sahib..I miss these souls who gave ears to my talks without any judgements. Despite their age, both of them could give me a friendly feeling. Don't know why the wire got connected so strongly with both of them that its hard even today to compare anyone else with them. Amrit Auntie...honestly I till date admire how she paid ears to my talks... any kind of talks...Sheetal's exam...My exams, My scores, My colleagues, Incidents in their lives...It seemed that every thing was of interest to her. I understood from her, what wonders listening could do.
It wouldnt be wrong if I call her my role model for listening. But I still havent managed to copy this behaviour into my life, however I wish someday I could. The 10 things to be done before I die - Listening is one thing I definately would like to do! Listening that could give support to those who need it without myself being disturbed !
Babaji, I dont know if this is a must have quality or a quality that I am destined to have, so these raw thoughts are in your hands to mould them in the best possible way! Seeking your blessings for the life ahead that could be comforting to those around me and ofcourse myself :-)
Ta!

New to business

Just after Sheelu returned from his Israel trip, we all gathered around him in 1998. He started sharing his experiences, and one of the things that he shared was the words of his Cab driver who had said, "I am quite new to the driving business, its been just 50 years I got into this Job". Quite recently these words came back to my mind, how beautiful would it be if I start viewing others around with the same vision.
At times when I see people around not able to do what they have been learning since so many years, or even while seeing my own self, there are times when I get disheartned. Take example of spiritual world, anyone speaking about tolerance for past 50 years and yet not able to tolerate things...Before I judge any other person, may I remember this line that person is quite new to this Spiritual world, its been JUST 50 years. When I myself fail on the scale that I have set for myself, may I rememeber that I too am quite new to this Gyan..JUST 20 or so years...It takes a life time to imbibe these virtues of humility, love, compassion, tolerance and everything...and for me its been JUST 20 years of Gyan.

JLT

Thank you Babaji!
I got up from bed to write a small observation at airport but before I could complete writing the experience, I realised it might not be worth sharing on a public forum. Although intention wouldnt be to comment on culture but still didnt want to sound as if laughing on the culture where I come from. Above that dont want to comment on anyone's personal likes/dislikes. So left the experience aside :)
But Babaji, thank you for these small small experiences where I am reminded of what difference you have brought into our lives.

How to loose one's Ego?

Other day I was talking to Lakshmi about the "Most wanted person by virtue of need" award which I had received for work in my previous project. Since I was the only contractor working in that project, I myself informed my Line Manager in parent company about it. Although I don't like doing this but somehow wanted it to be recorded with my parent company, that I had received some award for my work. However, after sending that email I had no replies or congrats from my Line Manager. I was surprised as generally what I have observed is, any email appreciation from client is followed by appreciation emails from all managers in parent company. Nothing happened basically after my sending that email to Line Manager. I kept quiet.

Days followed, and then other team mates received some appreciation from client. Surprisingly, this time same Line Manager sent that email to higher management which resulted in number of emails floating for appreciation. Luckily, I wasnt able to digest that, it was just an email for other team mates but an award for me. An email was heavily acknowledged but an award went unnoticed ? Perhaps I wouldnt have bothered but because it was "I" who had received the award, I was disturbed. I couldnt sit properly for some time, as this was disturbing me. I wasnt sure how I should react, but nevertheless I thought of discussing this with Lakshmi.

As I shared with her my problem, the usual happened. As predictable she is, "Sunil Ji, isko dekha hai aapne. Yeh to creator hai fir bhi kabhi nahin jataata". Lol...that was the simple tonic for the huge problem I was facing. Often I have noticed how easily she relates to the Almighty than I can do. A simple thought but with great depth, that look at the Almighty, despite being creator He never boosts about His deeds, why winning an award is making you disturbed...just because others failed to acknowledge it. It was a matter of seconds, that I was back to normal state..laughing at my ownself.

Quite truely, I still havent learnt how to be humble. Something I desire to learn, because its so soothing. I remember Babaji citing example of Lord Rama, and how humble He was when Parshuram Ji was shouting at Him. Definately, Looking at Rama's life there is so much to be learnt, the simplicity, divinity, kindness,...a whole lot of chapters in syllabus of spirituality. But again the first step as mentioned, "Pratham Bhakti Santan Kar Sanga.." Thankyou Babaji that you have sent Lakshmi in life who has guided and reminded me of your teachings where ever I was going aside.

No surprises why I always answer in same way to this question," how to loose one's ego?".."By seeing someone who is greater than you"...You'll stop worrying about not getting credit, if you understand how this Creator is silent even if His deeds are not acknowledged :)

Mistaken Identity

Three of us were travelling in the car and somehow D touched one of the hot topic these days. D started informing all of us what had happened to few spiritual guides in India in recent past. How few guides were caught for being involved in one or the other unacceptable activities. I tried paying less ears to the conversation but got into an attentive listening mode when name of the Mission came into their discussions. D felt that one of the guides caught was actually the lead for the SNM. Not realising that I too was one of the followers of SNM, he kept on keeping his concerns about the condition that few spiritual leaders were not acting according to social norms. I thought of interfering in discussion by clarifying that D was mistaking the held guide with some other mission. However I kept quiet. Dont know why but I kept listening to the discussions without reacting much, although understanding that more than D I have had chance to observe SNM philosophy and the leader. I did think that I will go and perhaps separately clarify D's misunderstanding. D would meet so many people in his life hereon, It would be unjust if he continues giving wrong information to the people he meets. And people as they are would pick up wrong information about a mission that is making human out of me.
But as day progressed, I still kept quiet. I dont know if I should have had some anger or concerns for held guides like D had. I somehow feel, its tough to judge the situations these guides would have gone through. Without knowing them as a person, I am no authority to form any opinion, be it good or bad, for the held guides. My thoughts dont hold any grudges for these guides, because I dont know what they have gone through.
And on correcting D, I dont know what should be my reaction. Should I go and inform D that he is carrying wrong information? or should I keep silent because if D is giving wrong information, so am I? D hasnt known the mission, but I have! Despite knowing mission for so long, I have not been successful in portraying the correct ideology of mission. In a way, I too am giving wrong information to people about SNM. Hence, there's not much difference between D and myself. I kept quiet because of this confusion, which let to a conclusion that before correcting D, I should be correcting myself.

LOVE is spelt as T.I.M.E.

I remember this article where a father reads through his personal diary to find out how he had wasted one complete day from his busy schedule on his lost son's useless and fruitless fishing campaign. To man's surprise, his lost son also had made an entry in his personal diary. However, the son had described same day as the most beautiful day of his life, when his father took him out on a fishing campaign. Towards the end, author made a point "To a child, Love is spelled as T.I.M.E".
It strikes to mind, that same statement holds good for any individual, why speak only of a child? Friends need time from each other, Parents from children, Boy friend from Girl friend, Wife from husband...all of us seem to ask for time in one way or the other. Most of the time, we ourselves dont have time to ask for anyone's time..but the fact is there are silent moments, when one asks for time...and it is this time when the relationships are built stronger. Not only worldly, but the spiritual too.
This is one of the formulae I have seen working for making relationships stronger! Giving T.I.M.E. aka Love genuinly to someone without asking anything in return!