I know what happened

Work has been really hectic these days, late evenings and weekend working - days seem to be running so fast. All I hear is - defects, retesting, scripts, execution. 

On one such day, we were working till late evening waiting for a fix to arrive for retesting. Since everyone in the team was so tired, I offered for them to leave for home while I alone stay back to retest the fix. It wasn't that I wasn't tired but I didn't mind staying back a little late. Everyone but one more friend left for the day. 

In some minutes, fix arrived and we began to retest. During that piece of retesting, I noticed something else broken. I didn't believe at first look because that bit seemed to be working during the day - and fix was no way related to the now broken area. Chances of these two issues being related were so low - I tested again but same results. So I raised a new defect and called it a day.

After reaching home, the mind got little relaxed and I started to think about the new defect. Suddenly it clicked that I perhaps might have used wrong data and hence the wrong results. May be there was no defect at all. I texted a friend that perhaps in hurry and tiredness, I hadn't analyzed the issue properly and by mistake have raised new defect. I couldn't be sure of the data, but somehow became uncomfortable with the thought that next day everyone would come blaming that I had made silly mistake and impacted timelines. Build team would reject the defect next day - this looked more obvious, and my friend too instead of comforting said something on those lines that I felt more guilty. 

I got really upset on how things had turned - and in those thoughts, for a moment I did ask for God to intervene and somehow correct things.  As time passed, I convinced myself to face the outcome next day. 

Next morning when I opened the defect - it was indeed rejected as I had expected. But what I hadn't expected was that Build saying they hadn't delivered the functionality for testing - therefore we shouldn't be testing that area.

I couldn't believe my eyes. I re-read what they were saying - the functionality was working last morning and now they were saying it was never delivered.

Although defect was still rejected but there was no blame game - everyone's attention drew towards the fact that certain functionality was never delivered. Whole day meetings went on - but to talk why was code not delivered?

And btw - next day I also checked what data I had used. That also seemed to be correct  - perhaps I was worrying for no reason at all. 

After a week since this incident - yesterday I got a chance to speak to build team members about same defect, where they requested to retest again and also said that the functionality should have been delivered - and perhaps they had by mistake put comments that functionality was never delivered. There was something wrong which they didn't understand - they were really confused over how things had turned up. 

As we continued to talk on that defect, I couldn't resist thinking about the rescue operation that God had done for me. I was worried about the mocking that people would do, and here same people were making apologies for putting wrong comments.

These days at work, whenever the same defect is talked of - everyone is surprised on what actually happened but I smile because I know what happened. 

Thankyou Huzur!

Expectations of all sorts!

Those teenage years of school & college, I still remember how disappointing it used to get whenever someone would fall short of my expectations. It is wrong to say that I no longer have any expectations but perhaps outlook towards expectations has also changed with years. I don't remember what was the incident, and who else was involved, but I remember something profound that had helped me to overcome the disappointment. 

A passage perhaps in some book talked of an incident from life of Jesus. It said that once 10 blind people walked to Jesus and prayed for their eye sight. Jesus took mercy on them, and gave them vision. All of them rejoiced on receiving the eye sight. All of them started dancing, and comfortably started to move toward their destinations. Few minutes passed, and one of those 10 people returned back to Jesus and said "Thank you".

The author of the passage, then left a question to readers " If only 1 out of 10 came to thank Jesus, then what makes you think you are any different? "

The question left me thinking - and finally helped me to be okay with the incident. There were many similar incidents after that where the same question became an answer. 

It took a few more years to understand that nothing great I have offered to anyone around me that I should expect much in return.

It took a few more years to understand that at times people do fall short of expectations, perhaps that's how God teaches us that no one else is perfect. 

There seems to be one more side of these expectations - Expectations from Self. Perhaps one more understanding.

Not only with others, even with self, I see how disappointing it gets when others expect from you and you fall short of meeting those expectations. But as time passes by, you understand that even you are not perfect.

Another profound message that Morrie left with the world in this context goes as below:

"It's not just other people we need to forgive, Mitch," he finally
whispered. We also need to forgive
ourselves."

Ourselves?

"Yes. For all the things we didn't do. All the things we should have
done. You can't get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened.
That doesn't help you when you get to where I am.

"I always wished I had done more with my work; I wished I had written
more books. I used to beat myself up over it. Now I see that never did
any good. Make peace. You need to make peace with yourself and
everyone around you."

You need to make peace with yourself... you need to make peace with yourself!!!

25/10

Its been an year today since Dad left his physical form. Throughout the year, I think I have used "Dad" word more regularly than ever, and of course missed & remembered him more often. Thanks to Babaji, there is a deep rooted understanding that Dad is so close by therefore feel less guilty of what I did do or did not do.

365 days of this year, I believe ears have heard words death, dad, relations, soul, salvation etc with much more attention. Definitely there have been times when the comfort of the physical form was missed more than the non-physical presence around. But the assurance that non-physical form is so close by to support has stayed along. Since birth have heard that God Knowledge is important for salvation of the soul. However in this past year, have felt that God Knowledge is not only important for self delivery but also important for members of family. It has been such a strength to know that Dad completed his bodily journey only to go back to the source. I cannot thank often for this blessing of God Knowledge on the family including self though there is still so much to be imbibed.

Thank you Babaji for holding the family & me through various forms. Wish the love that you have given me, in strong and silent ways, may I be able to reciprocate. 

Dad, miss you as well! 

Experiences still purifying!

If I admit, I would have to say it all started with 'Purifying Experiences'. This wonderful collection of experiences of Prof Puri comes in mind often. Like others, I too had gone back to thank Puri Sahib after reading this book. A truly 'Simple' book - simple language & simple day to day experiences, but there was also something 'Special' about it. Spiritually it inspired, at the same time motivated - to see what power words could have to transform an individual. I had witnessed it on me and so was inspired to pass on. Aaawh - pass on! Young over confident years - without realizing that I have neither comparable set of experiences nor any literary skills, I still wanted to write and share. Well not to blame fully the over confidence, I did pick up this hobby of writing which I started to enjoy and hopefully still do.

Well I didn't start to write about my hobby, but about Prof Puri. Many including me have been inspired by his spiritual talks - many know. However for me, he also became an inspiration to write. I perhaps did pick up, some sort of hobby from his book but still haven't picked up the approach & wisdom what he lived and inspired. One such attributes of his profile was humility. One of the emails I exchanged with Puri Sahib re-iterated his humble self when I asked permission to use his writings -

My dear Respected Sunil Ji,

Dhan Nirankar Ji. Anything that enhances the cause of the Mission does not need any permission. You may feel free to use the material anyway you like or deem fit. Thanks to Birmingham Saints too to keep this humble self in their memory.
My only anxiety is who would care for these worthless rubbish scattered thoughts. I am not at all a writer.

With deep regards,

Das Puri

I can't recall what I had sent him back on this email but surely want to say that this email often comes as a sweet yet strong reminder that I stand no where. It was definitely shocking to see how one who had inspired people to write, was so carefree & selfless of his 'own' writing skills. People like me who often write page or two fall into trap of identifying themselves as writers, but yet who have written on hearts of thousands proclaim, "I am not at all a writer."

Puri Sahib, Sach mein kamaal ho gaya!

we never know how long

Couple of years, perhaps around 12 years, ago Babaji were touring Yamuna Nagar. Stay was at Amrit Auntie's Kothi. Jee and Mom were perhaps at Kothi for some sewa, so I was taking liberty to watch television late in the evening. Other family members were fast asleep. It wasn't silence around, but still I could hear the ringing of the phone very clear in middle of the night. I answered that call. After exchanging greetings, the caller asked if he could speak to Babaji. As the caller spoke more, I could identify that Vivek Shauq ji was on other side. I very politely tried to answer that this number was kept at home, and Babaji would be available at xyz alternative number. Vivek Shauq ji thanked and after exchanging the greetings cut the call.

It took me a minute to grasp that I had just spoken to one of the actors. Before I could fully come out of thoughts of the short interaction, the phone rang again. I answered that new call but to my surprise it was same caller again. Another exchange of greetings, and Vivek ji apologized. I couldn't get what he was trying to convey, but soon he continued his apology, "apologies for waking you up in middle of your sleep". I smiled and explained him that I was anyways awake. We exchanged greetings and since then we both never spoke one to one.

Just wanted to share with you Vivek Ji, that your simple act of kindness has been with me in mind for years now and hopefully will keep reminding me that it takes just a simple act to be kind and we never know for how long that act of kindness will remain!

CONTENTMENT

While reading monthly magazine, I came across this word few hours ago. Thoughts took me back to the trip I had had in 2007 to Pune Mumbai. I landed in Pune from Bangalore and after spending a day or so, I and many youngsters made our way to Mumbai to attend Huzur's program. We all were together throughout the day in Pune, in journey and also through out the samagam. However our journey's back home were not together. They had to return back to Pune and I had to continue my onward journey. As samagam got over and everyone started to disperse, I kept coming across more saints from Mumbai. However saints from Pune stood at one side. While I was trying to attend more and more saints, I couldnt remove my eyes from one of the saints with whom I had travelled to Mumbai. It appeared that all of the Pune youngsters were getting late for their return but seeing I was busy, they stood aside not disturbing me. Time passed but nothing changed, I kept meeting more saints. Finally I saw all pune youngsters started to leave without saying a word. I wanted to bid them a bye, but wasnt able to interrupt the discussions I was having with Mumbai saints. Eyes said bye to each other. After some time, when I got a chance I rang one of the saints, asking her, actually complaining her "You didnt wait to say me a bye". A humble and sweet voice replied, "Bhaiya, I too wanted to say bye but saw that you were meeting saints here. We all were together for past two days, I think we all have had chance to spend time with you, now its turn for Mumbai saints to have your company. Even they should get your time".

Not to talk of the respect she showed for a co-follower, her contentment has always touched my heart. Till date if someone asks me of contentment, this is what I share.

JLT

Thank you Babaji!
I got up from bed to write a small observation at airport but before I could complete writing the experience, I realised it might not be worth sharing on a public forum. Although intention wouldnt be to comment on culture but still didnt want to sound as if laughing on the culture where I come from. Above that dont want to comment on anyone's personal likes/dislikes. So left the experience aside :)
But Babaji, thank you for these small small experiences where I am reminded of what difference you have brought into our lives.

Cześć Kochanie

Today morning, I opened Facebook to send birthday wishes to Aga. Then a thought flashed of doing this in Polish instead of English. I looked for translation and then sent it to her - wszystkiego najlepszego z okazji urodzin ! I was a bit skeptical if it conveyed the exact message but somehow sent it across.

Few hours ago I returned from dinner and saw her thanks note! Surprising indeed ! She wrote - aapakaa bahut bahut dhanyavaad :)

After reading her reply I am sure that my wish did convey her the right message - message that you as a person are more valuable to me than my own language !

Simple yet powerful

I met this brother in one of the chat sessions.

Till date, it is the first and final conversation we have had. As our talks progressed, it unfolded that he is out of his country for studies; he further disclosed that he has stopped offering Namaz five times a day, as his hectic schedule in college doesn’t allow him to do so. Without talking too much in depth, we did agree on how much easy living becomes when we include Allah in our day to day tasks. As we spoke of Allah every now and then, brother remembered his olden days and perhaps felt that he should start offering his Namaz as regular. He promised to offer Namaz five times a day. As heard often, I just added – “That’s great! Let’s try to remember Allah in every breath. “

Before our chat session could end, this brother asked me of my nationality. I said –‘Indian’. ‘Are you a Muslim?’ was his last question. ‘Yeah’ – was a quick answer.

Since then I haven’t come across this brother. I don’t even remember if I asked his name. But till date that feeling of thankfulness is afresh. Often when I come across souls being particular about any religion, sect, group – I recall your blessings Maalik. Born in a Hindu family, educated in a Christian school, with company of Sikh friends, I was taught to appreciate Allah.

Words fall short to thank you for the bliss that you have brought into my life. May I remember to thank you Maalik!!

And please bless that may we all understand your simple yet powerful and life turning messages!!