What should be my question?

Few years ago, we got the news of Puri Sahib's tour in Bangalore. As an act of encouragement to the youth, we were offered a session where Puri Ji would answer any questions young children would like to ask. I could notice how excited friends were, who wanted to ask so many things from an experienced elder who was like a mentor to each one of us. 
I too wanted to use this opportunity to learn from this soul be it through a Q & A session. However there was a problem.

The problem was I didn't know what to ask - despite spending time in thinking, I could not get hold of any question that would be 'just' appropriate to ask Puri Ji. Most of the questions made no sense, some questions I wasn't sure if were appropriate for the gathering - I was just "question-less". 

I could not decide what would be better in this situation? To ask some question for the sake of asking or let go this wonderful opportunity. In this state of indecisiveness, I rang up a saint for consultation. I explained the situation to her and then asked "What should be my question?".

In her usual composed state she started, " Sunil Ji, You know now instead of thinking what to ask anyone else, I have started to wonder on what could be asked of me. I don't know how to answer if asked that Love was taught to you, why didn't you follow it? You were reminded that forgiveness is important, why did you ignore it? I get worried on what would I reply...."

Our phone conversation continued for another few minutes before call was disconnected.

She didn't suggest a question, neither did she discourage me from asking one but gave me another frame for looking at the same situation. Needless to add that I dropped the idea of asking any question.

I wonder if some day some one would ask me the same question, "What should be my question?"....but definitely this is how I would like to answer.

Aga, I & the Moments of The Truth

While at client site, I had an opportunity to meet Aga.

Aga - a young, beautiful, charming lady who sat at the restaurant till. We exchanged smiles whenever we met; soon the smiles turned into conversations. Normally people would spend a minute or less to know the bill amount and transact. But for me, transactions were not only monetary therefore would never end in a minute. I stood there to know how her work was going, how her family was doing, when was her next trip to Poland where she belonged to etc etc. Sitting at the till, she would also enquire about my work, my wife, my family back in India, if I was missing my family etc etc. People standing behind me in the queue would at times also change tills. Friends who accompanied me for breakfast would keeping waiting until I finished my conversations with this charming lady. They often teased me because it was very unusual scene there, someone from India interacting with a young lady at the till that too when there was no direct business involved. Aga and I definitely had a bond – but of course not like they had imagined. We had had many Moments of The Truth which perhaps I couldn’t explain to all my friends. Few such Moments I thought of putting down.  

I had received Rakhies from sisters in India, and was wondering how I should tie those. Somehow I felt it would be quite boring to tie those by myself. I started to scan list of ladies I knew in my neighborhood, ladies who wouldn’t mind doing that and of course who’d value the bond. One particular name that flashed was Aga. Subscribing to the thought, I approached Aga and asked if she could meet me sometime during the day as I had some important task for her. She was surprised but gave me some slot when she would be at break. I reached as per the slot, carrying Rakhi and few chocolates in my hand. I started to explain her what was Rakhi festival, what tying of the thread signified etc. She was quite pleased to know that I thought so high of her, and wanted her to fulfill responsibility of a sister. But in a minute she said, ”Sorry” to me. Before I could interpret why so, she started to explain that they were not allowed to tie anything on their wrists while at work. I smiled as I realized that I had forgotten to tell her that it was I who needed to carry threads on the wrist, not her! I cleared the misunderstanding, and finally she tied a Rakhi to me. I gave her chocolates to share with others. I was happy to meet my “Universal Sister”.

An year passed on, it was Rakhi time again. It wasn’t so difficult this time to get her slot for the Thread festival. She tied Rakhi on my wrist. But in return this time, I had no gift to give to her. So I opened my wallet, and took out a 10 pound note and passed it to her. She refused to take the note despite many pressures from my side, and later asked “Are you my brother?”. I answered in a nod. “Will you give me what gift I want?”. Now this time she surprised me, but casually I said “Yes”. “Give a me a big smile, that is what I want in return” – my ears heard this statement in a second. I smiled, and looking at me she smiled. We hugged each other – Universal brother and Universal sister – The moment was of the Truth! I really admired how she embraced “my” culture, “my” festival despite her upbringing in “different” religion, “different” culture, “different” country. I learnt Universality from her.

In same year, on Aga’s birthday I sat on Facebook to wish her “Happy Birthday” . I typed it and was about to send when a thought clicked to me. Why not send wishes in Polish. She would love to see a message in her own language. Since I don’t know Polish, I took help of Google translator and sent her a message in Polish. During the day I also met at her work, and wished her birthday again. She didn’t talk of my wish on FB, so I also didn’t touch the topic. When I returned home and checked my FB messages, I saw there was a reply from Aga. I really got excited to unfold how she would have expressed her love to receive those wishes. But as soon as I opened her message, all excitement died off. Quite surprisingly she hadn’t expressed anything in particular for me using polish language but had simply written, “aapakaa bahut bahut dhanyavaad J”. Oh my God was my reaction – Another moment of the Truth! Looking at my Facebook profile, I kept thinking how easy it was to bridge differences of languages with mutual respect and love. Having lived in cities where people were so proud of their native languages, proud to the extent that they would even fight to prove superiority of their language, this incident was a reminder that love comes first. And wherever love comes first, the barriers created based on differences of regions, languages, religions etc automatically vanish.

Quite a time, I sincerely pray as the bollywood song goes, “…. Rab kare tujhko bhi pyaar ho jaaye”.  If only man would have understood the message of Love, our world would not witness the walls in minds of individuals due to differences in religion, region, nation, language, etc. This world itself would have become a Heaven.

What's on your mind?

"What's on your mind?"...I have always been tempted to reply to this question which one would normally see on almost all social sites these days, sites such as Facebook, Twitter etc. It does give you a feeling as if some one is keenly waiting for you to log on, and ask you whats going on in your life! And you would see people replying also...their revelations, their anger on some event, their love for loved ones, major events in their lives, their visits to places etc etc. Facebook is full of such 'personal' information.

Facebook..another blog on Facebook! There isn't any like or dislike for this site, its just that Facebook played an important role for the learning that I am trying to post. 

While I was cautious not to share much of personal stuff on Facebook, I couldn't resist the temptation to answer this very question "What's on your mind?". I felt as if I would be impolite to the Facebook designers if I don't answer this very question each time I login into Facebook. So I would reply...always with a quote.

It so happened that one day I was falling short of quotes that I could share. Lakshmi was sitting next to me, I casually asked her to tell me a quote which I could share on Facebook profile. It must have been stupid of me to ask that from her...but I did ask. Quite surprisingly she answered, "Sunil Ji, roz quote badalne se kya hoga...baat to tab banegi agar ham ek hi quote ko poori zindagi nibha lein". Thereby she cautioned me not to fall in trap of sharing more and more because mere sharing will not bring any changes in us. For bringing change in us, we'd have to follow those. Even if we stick to one quote, and follow it religiously...it would do miracles in our lives. A single quote that is followed can do what all the quotes which are just shared collectively also cannot do.  

Very profound thoughts Mrs Sethi has - I must admit. 

Since that day, I have tried to consciously remind myself not to fall in the same trap again. Now whenever I login into Facebook, and see that question again...I smile and answer "Same as it was on the last time!!".  

 And to go bit deeper on the learning, this is much of the problem that we see around...we often rush to speak, but rarely pause to listen. That reminds me of this riddle....'The moment you name it, it is gone...what is it?' "Silence".  

Wish we could pause, and ponder...ponder deeper to realize that even single thought is sufficient to bring a change in our lives.

New to business

Just after Sheelu returned from his Israel trip, we all gathered around him in 1998. He started sharing his experiences, and one of the things that he shared was the words of his Cab driver who had said, "I am quite new to the driving business, its been just 50 years I got into this Job". Quite recently these words came back to my mind, how beautiful would it be if I start viewing others around with the same vision.
At times when I see people around not able to do what they have been learning since so many years, or even while seeing my own self, there are times when I get disheartned. Take example of spiritual world, anyone speaking about tolerance for past 50 years and yet not able to tolerate things...Before I judge any other person, may I remember this line that person is quite new to this Spiritual world, its been JUST 50 years. When I myself fail on the scale that I have set for myself, may I rememeber that I too am quite new to this Gyan..JUST 20 or so years...It takes a life time to imbibe these virtues of humility, love, compassion, tolerance and everything...and for me its been JUST 20 years of Gyan.

LOVE is spelt as T.I.M.E.

I remember this article where a father reads through his personal diary to find out how he had wasted one complete day from his busy schedule on his lost son's useless and fruitless fishing campaign. To man's surprise, his lost son also had made an entry in his personal diary. However, the son had described same day as the most beautiful day of his life, when his father took him out on a fishing campaign. Towards the end, author made a point "To a child, Love is spelled as T.I.M.E".
It strikes to mind, that same statement holds good for any individual, why speak only of a child? Friends need time from each other, Parents from children, Boy friend from Girl friend, Wife from husband...all of us seem to ask for time in one way or the other. Most of the time, we ourselves dont have time to ask for anyone's time..but the fact is there are silent moments, when one asks for time...and it is this time when the relationships are built stronger. Not only worldly, but the spiritual too.
This is one of the formulae I have seen working for making relationships stronger! Giving T.I.M.E. aka Love genuinly to someone without asking anything in return!

Cześć Kochanie

Today morning, I opened Facebook to send birthday wishes to Aga. Then a thought flashed of doing this in Polish instead of English. I looked for translation and then sent it to her - wszystkiego najlepszego z okazji urodzin ! I was a bit skeptical if it conveyed the exact message but somehow sent it across.

Few hours ago I returned from dinner and saw her thanks note! Surprising indeed ! She wrote - aapakaa bahut bahut dhanyavaad :)

After reading her reply I am sure that my wish did convey her the right message - message that you as a person are more valuable to me than my own language !

P.S. I Love You

Swindon ke liye bus this 3:45 PM ki. Bus stand pe time kaise pass karu? Socha chalo Terminal 3 ka ek round maara jaaye. Wahan par bhi but bore ho gaya. – Abhi bhi 1 ghanta rehta tha bus ke aane mein. Terminal 4 ka round maar aau? But late hone ke chances hain. Chalo chhodo !!
Upar jaake Mint shake leta hu, its been months since I had last. Was walking back and this lady – Do you know which train goes to Central London? A lady from Iran perhaps.
Chal diye Sunil bhai.. Baato mein pata chala ki she was new to London and had to go off far away. Chal Sunil, time pass ho jayega ab 1 ghanta. Ofcourse uski help karte karte.
Ticket leke de di. Trains ka route map Samjha diya abhi bhi 30 mins. Socha chalo aadhe raste tak aur drop kar deta hu, She’ll be more comfortable. Underground mein betha ki chalo kuch raste se U-turn le aunga. Khair train chalti rahi, socha itne misaal suni hai to chalo bus miss karke pura hi drop kar aata hu. But ticket to cancel nahin hogi… Hmm… Excuse me… Are you okay if I take my return journey from next stop?
Then she gave me permission and her wishes – I’ll pray for you to Allah. Thanks sis.
Lol..sirf 15 min bus ke liye baaki. But koi ni.. dekhte hain Nirankar kuch to kar hi dega. Khair, train chali aur idhar dhadkan bhi….15..10…5…2 Min baaki. Shayd pahunch jaunga aur yeh kya Terminal 4 ? Terminal 4 pe kyun aa gayi.. Jaldi Jaldi mein dhyan nahin gaya wrong train.Khair 10 min ke wait ke baad chali yeh train… Bus station pahuncha to bus ja chuki thi. Cancel karayi ticket. Agli bus 2 ghante mein thi.. Shit Sunil….
Itni der rukna hi tha to us behan ko pura hi drop kar aate. Chalo koi ni Nirankar ka bhi koi raaz hoga…Let me go and have a Mint shake meanwhile…
Sip pe Sip le raha tha aur soch raha tha ki behan ne bhi ardaas ki hogi Allah se ki Sunil ki manokaamna puri karna..par main to pray kar raha tha ki Bus na Miss ho meri….
But fir laga jaise kisi ne kaha.. P.S. I Love you – Terminal 4 pe jaane ki manokaamna kaun kar raha tha ? Shake kis ko peena tha ?
Dhanya ho Maalik aap…. Aapka processing order hi aaj tak samjh nahin aaya … Aur shayd aaye bhi nahi kabhi.. but yeh zarur aa jaaye ki ‘Puttar Sunil…I Love You’

14th February

Her eyes I still remember. Two glowing eyes, greenish in color, held inside a body that would be around 6 years of age. She had made a move to hug me but something kept me aloof. I kept my hand on her head as if giving my wishes to her; she accepted the blessings from her elder. And I moved from there after that. Later realizing what I had done.
I had gone to a Family Contact Centre here in Swindon on Saturday. It was advertised that volunteers are needed in Child Centre and those interested may visit the local branch office. During my visit to the centre, I came to know that a Child Contact Centre is a meeting place where children of separated families can enjoy contact with one (or both) parents, and sometimes other family members, in a comfortable and safe environment where there is no viable alternative. Well, I wasn’t much happy to see the kind of job I was being offered. But somehow, I gathered the basic details and then made a plan to make a move. Before I could I move, I recalled I had carried some chocolates in my pocket for children whom I expected to see there. There were no children but only volunteers who were aged 60-65, I offered them few chocolates. Before they could eat those chocolates, this girl appeared from nowhere. She was then followed by her younger brother perhaps and father. I was told that this divorced person was there to meet his children who were living with their mother. I offered one piece of chocolate to Elizabeth, the girl I mentioned earlier. She in thanks made a move to hug me but something kept me aloof. I kept my hand on her head as if giving my wishes to her; she accepted the blessings from her elder. And I moved from there after that. Later realizing I had missed an opportunity to reciprocate a sincere feeling of nothing other than love.
As I was moving away from the Centre, I was being reminded of my act again and again. How could I un-see an act of sincere love, which a small child was eagerly waiting to share?
However the story doesn’t start here. It probably began when I was born. Since then I have been continuing to do similar acts. For reasons known or unknown, I have missed many opportunities. Opportunities to offer my love for the people whom I have come across. Opportunities to reciprocate the love that others have given me. As people around waited for 14th February to express the love for their beloveds, I too was waiting to see if I can think of at least 14 people whom I have loved sincerely from the core of my heart since I was born. I fail to do so. Where every one’s expectations are for love thy neighbor, I am still trying to love the ones who have entered same roof. Seeking your blessings, to be able to sincerely love those around.

16 Dec 2007

Finally the day is to end and I just thought of re-collecting my learnings from the day ...

He listens - Was thinking to ask Rajkumar ji to help me reach Shrikant ji on Bday. I cudnt even ask this favor and Rajeev ji & Arti ji were made a medium to fulfil my this unspoken desire.

Bglore Rocks - Saints cut birthday cake in Bglore sangat today. Remember Babaji said the utmost desire is that saints love each other as they do to me. Never ever have seen that some one is blessed so much that his/her birthday cake is cut even is he/she isnt in town. That too when no blood relations live in that city. Mystery of His family I must say. Not saying I am important but yes I am blessed.

I still am unlearned - During the days emotions had a zig zag path to follow. Switching from one extreme to another. Rest under 'Parda'. Apologies Babaji, still havent learnt the art of thankfulness, Sweet words, Patience and so many others.

I am idiot - Where ever I am, I fail to see the bliss hidden. Only when I step into next moment I realise the last moment was better. Present is our own....Own ??

Love's still missing - Havent ever understood how the graph moves for Love. Whether it is giving or taking. Allah hi sikha sakta hai mere jaise ko....

There's no place like your room - All day's tiredness vanished like anything as soon as I put on the lights in my room. I saw the untidy room with clothes, bottles lying here and there... but its my own. No place is as sweet as your room. Seemed like am back in the grip of Nirankar. As soothing as this.

Kya Shikaayat Karein Zamaane Se - Hum to khud hain abhi deewane se...Sab kuch to waise ka waise rakha hua hai miyaa...aur chale ho... :-)

Hmm...Itna effort maara likhne ke liye but...

I boarded the train from Swindon for Birmingham which is around 2.5 - 3 hours run including the change time. I was quite thirsty at Swindon Station but wasn’t happy to spend some pounds on water, water which is offered free in Indian stations. I missed India.
Reached Birmingham, was waiting for some friend to arrive when I saw people using vending machines to grab pet of coke. I too had a thirst for 3 hrs then, so somehow I managed and with courage took 1.3 pounds out of my wallet. I put coins in the machine and waited for a sprite bottle to come out. However, there was some problem with the machine; Sprite bottle got struck in middle. I bashed the machine but could not make path for the bottle to come down.
It seemed that God wanted to teach me that don’t miss to enjoy the creations. Anyways, I looked for someone to help but no one was around. Somehow I convinced myself that Sunil, it was for you to spend money but probably the cake wasn’t for you today. You had to pay for some else’s benefit. I moved with a heavy heart trying to digest the learning. After some time came back to same vending machine where a fellow was looking for sprite’s owner. He had managed to take out the bottle somehow. I talked to the person and grabbed my own sprite bottle. Learning came at that moment, don’t worry Sunil what is in your name shall come to you at any cost.
Well these small teachings still have to be imbibed. I often come across virtues that so many saints shared and lived also. However when I analyze I find myself standing nowhere. I do think at times, will reading all those virtues do me a good? It’s good to quote from great books, but am I actually living up to those words. The bliss that is shared in those great books was lived and then scribbled there. And I tend to mention those virtues and get satisfied with my spiritual growth…Scope still is there to grow and feel what is mentioned in those texts.
Sharing from this small incident only, when I will get what’s in store for me, then why does someone else’s growth hurt me? If I want to grow let me make more efforts and excel, why I want to overshadow someone and then say I won. Spiritual life and practical life are one and the same. If feelings inside don’t change, what good would the outer clothes do? A colleague too is thy neighbor whom one needs to love if one thinks of being spiritual. One very beautiful quote I read was,
Pyar inse nafratein unse, yu to sajda adaa nahi hota.
To become a spiritual being, I need to love one and all. Be it in office, be it in house, a soul is a soul and it needs to live with the same virtues. Spiritual living is too simple, and comes in daily living. But then... I need to be open to actually hear who’s trying to call me.