What should be my question?

Few years ago, we got the news of Puri Sahib's tour in Bangalore. As an act of encouragement to the youth, we were offered a session where Puri Ji would answer any questions young children would like to ask. I could notice how excited friends were, who wanted to ask so many things from an experienced elder who was like a mentor to each one of us. 
I too wanted to use this opportunity to learn from this soul be it through a Q & A session. However there was a problem.

The problem was I didn't know what to ask - despite spending time in thinking, I could not get hold of any question that would be 'just' appropriate to ask Puri Ji. Most of the questions made no sense, some questions I wasn't sure if were appropriate for the gathering - I was just "question-less". 

I could not decide what would be better in this situation? To ask some question for the sake of asking or let go this wonderful opportunity. In this state of indecisiveness, I rang up a saint for consultation. I explained the situation to her and then asked "What should be my question?".

In her usual composed state she started, " Sunil Ji, You know now instead of thinking what to ask anyone else, I have started to wonder on what could be asked of me. I don't know how to answer if asked that Love was taught to you, why didn't you follow it? You were reminded that forgiveness is important, why did you ignore it? I get worried on what would I reply...."

Our phone conversation continued for another few minutes before call was disconnected.

She didn't suggest a question, neither did she discourage me from asking one but gave me another frame for looking at the same situation. Needless to add that I dropped the idea of asking any question.

I wonder if some day some one would ask me the same question, "What should be my question?"....but definitely this is how I would like to answer.

Power of ONE.

Yesterday was talking to few saints who have shaped me during my stay in Bangalore and are doing the same even now, in one or the other form. I was again on memory lane to remind myself of learnings that I have picked while on Bangalore Platform. One such memory apartment that I opened door of was of last few days in a familiar town. As time for my exit neared, the fear of not then familiar gripped - New town, new people, new work atmosphere, new friends, "new" sangat, new efforts to form another comfort zone. While there was a desire for change, but welcoming the change was becoming bit tough.

On one shiny night, occupied with same thoughts I was standing outside trying to connect myself with the creator. Kept gazing at sky with appreciation - the beauty of tinkling stars, wonderful moon, how creator has brought creation into existence, despite lands spread on planet earth how moon shines across places, while earth is so big same sky surrounds everywhere, in UK too this sky would look same, often moon will look such beautiful....hang on! same sky, same moon, same sun...same creation despite different nations, wont creator be same too? lands may be different, cultures may be different, people outwardly might look different, but we all share same earth, so is creator - so why are you worrying? Just a matter of analysis, and I was motivated enough without any fear to look forward to change, change became pleasant, not familiar seemed familiar, new was comforting as old - all because of One creator!

A simple revelation that happened at time when it was needed most. Although had heard about Oneness of creator from so young age, but at that time was able to relate it to more closely. Often one does get to hear One God, One Allah, One Energy etc etc but realizing it is a different experience. If you have realized it, it works wonders even in such minute day to day walks. Rightly do they say - Power of ONE.

CONTENTMENT

While reading monthly magazine, I came across this word few hours ago. Thoughts took me back to the trip I had had in 2007 to Pune Mumbai. I landed in Pune from Bangalore and after spending a day or so, I and many youngsters made our way to Mumbai to attend Huzur's program. We all were together throughout the day in Pune, in journey and also through out the samagam. However our journey's back home were not together. They had to return back to Pune and I had to continue my onward journey. As samagam got over and everyone started to disperse, I kept coming across more saints from Mumbai. However saints from Pune stood at one side. While I was trying to attend more and more saints, I couldnt remove my eyes from one of the saints with whom I had travelled to Mumbai. It appeared that all of the Pune youngsters were getting late for their return but seeing I was busy, they stood aside not disturbing me. Time passed but nothing changed, I kept meeting more saints. Finally I saw all pune youngsters started to leave without saying a word. I wanted to bid them a bye, but wasnt able to interrupt the discussions I was having with Mumbai saints. Eyes said bye to each other. After some time, when I got a chance I rang one of the saints, asking her, actually complaining her "You didnt wait to say me a bye". A humble and sweet voice replied, "Bhaiya, I too wanted to say bye but saw that you were meeting saints here. We all were together for past two days, I think we all have had chance to spend time with you, now its turn for Mumbai saints to have your company. Even they should get your time".

Not to talk of the respect she showed for a co-follower, her contentment has always touched my heart. Till date if someone asks me of contentment, this is what I share.

Chewing Camel

I feel more or less like camel which does not chew its food well before swallowing it but later returns it to the mouth in a ball-like glob, and then chews it. Camel does it for the body; perhaps I have done it for the soul. Of many such instances which I swallowed in Bangalore, here starts the chewing –
One fine evening we all youngsters were standing around one saint who had come down from Chennai to Bangalore for some workshop. He was sharing one instance about his duty in Babaji’s presence. It so happened that open namaskar was going on somewhere, and this saint was standing near Babaji collecting namaskar offerings. One other mahapursh came from nowhere, and after some pushes approached Babaji, did namaskar and went out of the arena. Now this sewadar saint felt little sad about the behaviour of the mahapursh but kept quiet. After namaskar got over, he got a chance to express his discomfort about the incident with Babaji. Babaji replied to him – Are you still thinking about him? The mahapursh as soon as he reached out of the arena, he seeked forgiveness and I forgave him there and then. But why are you thinking?
Often it happens with me too when I think about mistakes done by others, leave others by me also. I cannot imagine about the index Babaji use for forgiveness, but I can think of myself. Listening above instance, it surely comes as a learning that when He comes to forgiving, He can break His own index – no one stops Him. Let me keep my prayers for forgiveness and leave things on Him. Doesn’t mean I do something wrong and still be proud of it. But if I feel I did something wrong – Sincerely put apologies with a prayer seeking blessings for future. When does he forgive me I don’t know but have I forgiven others or myself is the question that remains open. From the shop keeper who overcharged me to the taxi wala who didn’t stop taxi on my nod, from the school teacher who scolded me in class I to the colleague who took an appreciation for my work – I have a huge list of people whom I need to forgive. Often I include myself too in the list and that keeps things tough. While I keep seeking forgiveness from the Satguru, also side by side somewhere I keep punishing myself. Satguru might have forgiven but I take time to forgive. Perhaps rightly said by someone, if I have never forgiven someone who did wrong to me, I cannot learn how to forgive myself.
Predicting when He forgives is something beyond my reach, but His teaching for me is to learn how to forgive. By the time second part is done, first might have happened automatically. Task on me is to pick up the list and strike every name asap.
PS: Camel when chews might have mixed qualities of grasses. What was the original composition of each quality of grass doesn’t matter as long as the grasses in mouth provide it food to survive.