What should be my question?

Few years ago, we got the news of Puri Sahib's tour in Bangalore. As an act of encouragement to the youth, we were offered a session where Puri Ji would answer any questions young children would like to ask. I could notice how excited friends were, who wanted to ask so many things from an experienced elder who was like a mentor to each one of us. 
I too wanted to use this opportunity to learn from this soul be it through a Q & A session. However there was a problem.

The problem was I didn't know what to ask - despite spending time in thinking, I could not get hold of any question that would be 'just' appropriate to ask Puri Ji. Most of the questions made no sense, some questions I wasn't sure if were appropriate for the gathering - I was just "question-less". 

I could not decide what would be better in this situation? To ask some question for the sake of asking or let go this wonderful opportunity. In this state of indecisiveness, I rang up a saint for consultation. I explained the situation to her and then asked "What should be my question?".

In her usual composed state she started, " Sunil Ji, You know now instead of thinking what to ask anyone else, I have started to wonder on what could be asked of me. I don't know how to answer if asked that Love was taught to you, why didn't you follow it? You were reminded that forgiveness is important, why did you ignore it? I get worried on what would I reply...."

Our phone conversation continued for another few minutes before call was disconnected.

She didn't suggest a question, neither did she discourage me from asking one but gave me another frame for looking at the same situation. Needless to add that I dropped the idea of asking any question.

I wonder if some day some one would ask me the same question, "What should be my question?"....but definitely this is how I would like to answer.

Expectations of all sorts!

Those teenage years of school & college, I still remember how disappointing it used to get whenever someone would fall short of my expectations. It is wrong to say that I no longer have any expectations but perhaps outlook towards expectations has also changed with years. I don't remember what was the incident, and who else was involved, but I remember something profound that had helped me to overcome the disappointment. 

A passage perhaps in some book talked of an incident from life of Jesus. It said that once 10 blind people walked to Jesus and prayed for their eye sight. Jesus took mercy on them, and gave them vision. All of them rejoiced on receiving the eye sight. All of them started dancing, and comfortably started to move toward their destinations. Few minutes passed, and one of those 10 people returned back to Jesus and said "Thank you".

The author of the passage, then left a question to readers " If only 1 out of 10 came to thank Jesus, then what makes you think you are any different? "

The question left me thinking - and finally helped me to be okay with the incident. There were many similar incidents after that where the same question became an answer. 

It took a few more years to understand that nothing great I have offered to anyone around me that I should expect much in return.

It took a few more years to understand that at times people do fall short of expectations, perhaps that's how God teaches us that no one else is perfect. 

There seems to be one more side of these expectations - Expectations from Self. Perhaps one more understanding.

Not only with others, even with self, I see how disappointing it gets when others expect from you and you fall short of meeting those expectations. But as time passes by, you understand that even you are not perfect.

Another profound message that Morrie left with the world in this context goes as below:

"It's not just other people we need to forgive, Mitch," he finally
whispered. We also need to forgive
ourselves."

Ourselves?

"Yes. For all the things we didn't do. All the things we should have
done. You can't get stuck on the regrets of what should have happened.
That doesn't help you when you get to where I am.

"I always wished I had done more with my work; I wished I had written
more books. I used to beat myself up over it. Now I see that never did
any good. Make peace. You need to make peace with yourself and
everyone around you."

You need to make peace with yourself... you need to make peace with yourself!!!