Any field, but..

Last night I was running short of ideas for writing something for Shukar Series. So asked my brother, "Bro, if you had one thing to thank Satguru for, what would it be?". I wasn't surprised when he replied back with his usual humour " That Chottu is my brother". Knowing myself well, I knew he was trying to ignore the question by putting some weird answer. Well this is part 1 of the story.

Part 2 dates back to 1997 when I attended college. One of my favorites just because of one sentence has been Mrs Krishna Kaul. Then middle aged English lecturer once mentioned, "Go in whatever field you like Arts, Science, Music, it wont matter but make sure you excel. Excel so that you cannot be replaced." Years have passed by since then but mind still has an impression of this lecture actually one sentence of hers.

Last night as soon as Part 1 transpired, memories of Part 2 followed. Leaving the professional front aside for some moments, was relating this sentence to what Sheelu said. How wonderful would it be if I could excel in my relations? Brother, mother, father, sister, wife, friend, children proclaim that we couldn't have any better relationship than that with you. If you are brother to one, live relationship such that the brother cannot wish for any better brother. If you are a husband, excel in relationship that wife states that the life is beautiful just with you. If you are a wife, live such that the husband is forced to state that no one other than you. List would go on...whilst it has been easy to put the thoughts, not sure how easy would it be to implement and excel.

Hoping for a meaningful life, filled with excellence.

3 ON 10 - ART OF BALANCING SPEECH

As drafted on 08/10/10...

Moments ago, I was thinking how wonderful it is to be silent in relationships. To hear and not to react, just be a listener...quite opposite to what I learnt few years ago..

At that time for some reasons, I had opted 'just listen'. Quite new to such relationship and a new person on my side; it wasn't something that I was used to.
Around 2 or more than 2 years ago, we had just got committed. I wasn't used to to this relationship structure (lol !)...I think even till date I know nothing...anyways, I was quite new to this side of the world. I believe it happens during initial period of relationships, that you get to impress one another by being something you aren't but slowly and slowly you have to come back to being yourself and then it is accepted in mixed sense at times. I believe I was going through same period, so I had thought that in order to keep peace, I would try keeping quiet; its just another 50-60 years, somehow I will manage by silence. So I started just to play a part of listener in the conversations. One day, one more day, one more and so on it went for couple of days...slowly and slowly, I started getting frustrated by playing a listener.

I think it was divine intervention when I was called for this client orientation session. The session was kept by my company for motivating employees to speak when they are in meetings with clients. I could not understand much out of the session, as was more bothered by internal combat of some sort. But somewhere came the divine spark, when the presenter talked of benefits of speaking up. I do not know why and how, when I returned back I took it as a point to discuss with her the concerns I had in mind. Quite amazingly, those were so easily handled and I wondered what magic these two words had in the relation - "Speak Up". Ever since, anyone who has asked for a friendly advice in matters pertaining to relationships, this is what I have suggested "Speak Up". Speak Up because other end may not have a clue of what you are trying to say or ask...so Speak Up!! Quite surprisingly, this Mantra has worked...

Now coming to the thoughts I was having moments ago, being a married man I am ought to think that way :), I think the learning was half when I learnt "Speak Up", the second part is "To understand when not to Speak Up" . Wise is one who knows where to put a pause, often I realize that whatever I spoke was in no way a value add or a remark which was required.

There's still so much to learn, especially what was taught to me on the wedding day!! Hopefully this is something I would learn some day!

Another thing on the To-Do list - Art of balancing speech.

I have knowledge b.. ...

While having breakfast other day, I switched telly on. Scrolling through channels I stopped at some Indian channel which was airing epic Mahabharata. Recently have enjoyed seeing the conversation between Lord Krishna and Arjun in the Gita Gyan episodes, so didn't mind seeing the episode where all Pandavas, Lord Krishna go and meet Taatshree. Amidst the emotional conversation, Krishna asks Bhisham Pitaamah to share some words of wisdom with the pandavas. Amazingly Bhisham Pitaamah says that if you are here Krishna, who else is worthy to speak? Knowledge comes from you etc etc, this was but obvious statement. However, my thoughts come to a stand still when I recall Krishna's reply

I have Knowledge but you have experience.

I dont remember this dialogue from childhood days of my audience to this same epic. How remarkably Krishna accepts to be all-knower but still gives importance to His elders' experiences. There on I am trying to forgive myself for being intolerant of elders' seemingly un-knowledgable but possibly experienced acts. How many times I have been intolerant when I have seen elders doing something which never fitted my understanding of lawful living, but here was an example of how the role model Himself silently gave message of spiritual living. Perhaps the learning could also be talked in generic sense; why only elders, actually one has to be tolerant and respectful to every individual's experiences.

Having said this, nothing much has been achieved. There's still remaining another part: to experiment this tolerance and add to my own experience:-)

CONTENTMENT

While reading monthly magazine, I came across this word few hours ago. Thoughts took me back to the trip I had had in 2007 to Pune Mumbai. I landed in Pune from Bangalore and after spending a day or so, I and many youngsters made our way to Mumbai to attend Huzur's program. We all were together throughout the day in Pune, in journey and also through out the samagam. However our journey's back home were not together. They had to return back to Pune and I had to continue my onward journey. As samagam got over and everyone started to disperse, I kept coming across more saints from Mumbai. However saints from Pune stood at one side. While I was trying to attend more and more saints, I couldnt remove my eyes from one of the saints with whom I had travelled to Mumbai. It appeared that all of the Pune youngsters were getting late for their return but seeing I was busy, they stood aside not disturbing me. Time passed but nothing changed, I kept meeting more saints. Finally I saw all pune youngsters started to leave without saying a word. I wanted to bid them a bye, but wasnt able to interrupt the discussions I was having with Mumbai saints. Eyes said bye to each other. After some time, when I got a chance I rang one of the saints, asking her, actually complaining her "You didnt wait to say me a bye". A humble and sweet voice replied, "Bhaiya, I too wanted to say bye but saw that you were meeting saints here. We all were together for past two days, I think we all have had chance to spend time with you, now its turn for Mumbai saints to have your company. Even they should get your time".

Not to talk of the respect she showed for a co-follower, her contentment has always touched my heart. Till date if someone asks me of contentment, this is what I share.

Lol..Just checked my Balance!

On Sunday, I was waiting for cab to arrive so that I could travel to bus station. Instead of wasting time, I thought of withdrawing money from ATM. Sun was shining so strong that I wasn't able to clearly see the display. Somehow, I entered PIN and requested for 30 pounds from options displayed i.e. 10,20,30 etc. The card came out after sometime, I waited for money to be dispensed but nothing happened. I re-entered my card to try again, and this time options were displayed as 20, 40 etc..perhaps the 10 notes were no longer available that's why the ATM did not dispense the notes in first try. Anyhow, the story is not about 20 pounds, but of 30 pounds. I kept thinking about 30 pounds, and how to inform bank about the scandal that had happened....but it was sunday, so was caught up in thoughts trying to figure out the solution.
From no where the cab arrived, I opened the door to sit and before I could sit the driver wished, 'Cheer up! Its not end of the world' Lol..I smiled as if I had got 30 pounds back. Well, it wasnt 30 pounds that I got back but actually the flow of thoughts which had stopped because of 30 pounds. I was once again astonished to see your ways of reminding and nuturing our thoughts - Its not end of the world!
Just to complete the story, I didnt forget 30 pounds so checked the balance just now - statement says withdrawal of 20 pounds on Sunday. Possibly I had miskeyed on ATM display on some warning etc in the first attempt. I will possibly forget the 30 pounds now but I am stuck with the reminder, Its not end of the world :-)

Hello Brother! Brother!

Years ago, brother and I were walking in Samagam Grounds. Proceedings for the day had just completed and we were on our way to the tents. Inquisitive enough, I asked ‘why do saints get up during dhuni if it is being announced that please remain seated?’ Brother gave me some strange looks as if I had asked something wrong. Without much botheration to understand his gesture, I continued ‘Aren’t they doing wrong?’ I waited to see a Yes or No from his side, but he spoke, ‘aapko pasand nahi to aap mat utho’. When I had expected a Yes or No, I heard a very neutral answer from him that if you don’t like, don’t get up.
No wonder he reminds me often, “Jo kujh tenu changaa lagdea, khaa pi te vastar pa, duniya da updeshak banke, horr na jhagdey pyaa vadhaa “.

Zubaan ka Ras

I remember there was a book which I read in childhood, it contained small small stories with different moral. One of the stories was, Zubaan ka Ras...where a person who is passing by a new town feels hungry and he knocks a door, door is opened by an old lady. Man asks for food from the lady, and lady starts preparing food for this stranger..while she is preparing batter for the roties, this man starts asking questions, one being " Lady your door is so narrow, if your cow dies, how will you take the cow out of your door?" quite angry with this question lady throws the batter at man's face. Some passer by sees the liquid dripping on man's face, and asks anqiously "what is this?", to which this man says "zubaan ka ras". Moral that was told in the story was that be wise in your speech.
Although this story was heard in childhood years, but I think this is ageless learning as here lies the start of self improvement. If man takes a pause and starts analysing what he is speaking, or asking, he will be astonished to see how comforting or breaking his words are. Path to self improvement is definately long, but one who has conquered his words, he has made a start. Speech is not the final criterian to prove one's level of wisdom but definately is a milestone. If its said, that one who doesnt think wrong will not say wrong...it also seems true that one who wants to think right, should start saying right.