Come In

I watching Madagascar other day and there came this scene which I
could relate to my life. There stood a Giraffe proposing Hippo, "Its
neither doctor's prescriptions nor any medicine that has kept me
alive. I am alive just by seeing you." Mr. Giraffe seemed to describe
my story too, not love story but my soul's story.
I don't know how you have decided for others but for me I can sum up
it's just you. It's just your presence that has kept me alive. Neither
any caliber nor any understanding of the texts I had but thy grace
still surrounded and surrounds me. It is your grace that life
experiences what seems to be enclosed in those unread texts.
Often when I hear these lines, thoughts connect to you again-

Tujh bin jeena, bhi kya jeena
Teri chaukhat mera Madina
Kahin aur na Sajda gawaara

Enlightened ones wrote somewhere for you, "Mainu yaar manaudo fursat
nahi, dasso rab nu manaawa kis welley" Not different from the
expressions that came in "Gur Gobind, dono khadhe, kaake laagu paaye.
Balhaari Gur aapne jis Gobind diyo bataaye". Such is thy grace.

I don't deny when people speak that teacher appears when student
becomes ready but for my life I would say that when teacher had to
appear, he got student ready. I don't know when I made sincere knock
at your door but what I recall from this birth, I have seen you
standing at open door and asking me to come in.

"I do not choose the best, rather the best chooses me. Had it been
upto me, I surely would have missed thee."

Cześć Kochanie

Today morning, I opened Facebook to send birthday wishes to Aga. Then a thought flashed of doing this in Polish instead of English. I looked for translation and then sent it to her - wszystkiego najlepszego z okazji urodzin ! I was a bit skeptical if it conveyed the exact message but somehow sent it across.

Few hours ago I returned from dinner and saw her thanks note! Surprising indeed ! She wrote - aapakaa bahut bahut dhanyavaad :)

After reading her reply I am sure that my wish did convey her the right message - message that you as a person are more valuable to me than my own language !

She's Jhalli .. Guru's Jhalli !!

Days ago, I caught hold of this sister at B'mgham bhawan. I just had come out of the Namaskar line after seeking Babaji's blessings. 'Did you do Namaskar?' I checked with her.
To this she humbly replied - 'Bhaiya, I did not do Namaskar, I have had enough chances.'

I was thinking perhaps she had done it on Monday so didn't want to it again on UK trip. But later she clarified that she had done namaskar in Austria, and even after getting 4-5 chances in UK to do namaskar she had let go those opportunities. Sounded a bit strange to me - I would have understood her refusal on 2nd, 3rd or 4th opportunity but couldnt digest her refusal for all the opportunities even the very first. The mystery seemed to deepen when she said - 'Bhaiya, by doing namaskar here I didnt want to spoil the memories of the blessings I have had in Austria'.

Not sure if I could show any signs of confusion before she started unwinding her thoughts - 'Bhaiya, when I was standing in Queue in Austria, dont know why but all of sudden my thoughts changed. Earlier I stood there, thinking of some tasks, assignments but dont know when my thoughts just changed to gratitude for Babaji. The change that my life has had after His teachings. The only thought in my mind was to thank Babaji, and it seemed that Babaji too approved those thoughts because the memories I have at present are still afresh. But here in UK, I have had these many chances to do namaskar again, but every time my mind is full with some other thoughts, not experiencing gratitude for Him. And I feel this would be a wasted opportunity, if I bow down to Him thinking something else. Doing Namaskar like this would make no difference than me standing still watching Him. I dont want to spoil those memories where my mind was in complete surrenderance, to which He too reciprocated.'

Then we changed the topic of discussion, but inside I knew my thoughts were held. Her talks were not complete non-sense to me for they reflected something which I too have experienced. I dont know how she achieved this state, or is it required to copy this style of namaskar....but more than that I do need to copy this art of doing things and enjoying them at the same time. I guess this is a human tendency to do things at times even though when one is not fully present ...but art is to learn how to BE THERE.

BAU ;-)

He called me around 10. I wasnt expecting him to phone me at that hour especially when he would have been at college and I at work. Before anything else I asked him - Are you okay?

It was a bit unusual to receive his call, so I wanted to confirm if things were okay with him. He said smilingly - Ya Ya bhaiya, I just read your thought on Divine Souls group so felt like talking to you.

It was BAU...we both talking and expressing our mixed emotions. I guess phone call went for half an hour or so before we ended the call.

It always has been a pleasure to hear his voice and inspirational thoughts. I went back to the days when he too was in Bangalore and we shared a joyous time together. Then he went to Delhi for his studies and I received his call that day. That day I had contributed for 'Thought of the day' series on Divine Souls group, possibly he would have read my name and called me up. It was a pleasure again to hear him.

Day went as it does normally. While on way back I was again remembering the thoughts that he shared on the phone call that day. Also was appreciating how he connected to my name on the thought...why wont he? The thought itself was so good that anyone would have picked up his phone and called some one important in his life. The thought went something like - If you had only half an hour left in your life and one phone call to make, whom would you call? And why are you waiting? This thought is one of my favorites, and perhaps that's why I shared it with all those on the group. Reminds me not to take time for granted, each moment is precious...and should be used very judicially. Good that he called. And all of a sudden my thoughts went around - Oh ! he called me after reading that thought...but I myself did not phone anyone. Before wasting another second, I called some one whom I felt I should be hearing once again.

When I look at myself, such incidents keep happening now and then. I keep talking loud when I see you around..but at times I do fall short of what ever I myself have spoken. Maalik, bless that I follow your guidelines. Rightly did I hear that devotion is a path of selfishness. It has taken a while to understand the meaning, that before anyone else my soul needs to be cleansed. If talks give reminders to others very well but talks would be worthwhile only if I am able to follow. I remember George Ji sharing other day - Irony is that we talk about God, we don't talk to God ! May the connection between You and me keeps getting strengthened, rest is BAU ;-)

Pack of 10 eggs

As soon as I entered house, I thought of returning the recently bought pack of 10 eggs. While buying only, I was skeptical about this pack. I wasn't sure if I'll be able to consume 10 eggs before the expiry date. But then somehow bought this pack, as there weren't many options to choose from.

As I entered the house, I started reading the details mentioned on the pack. "Expiry date is a bit far away, If I eat 2 daily I should be able to meet the target." - my mind was making calculations. And all of a sudden I read something that I took a U-turn in order to return to the shop. "I can't" - my mind saying to me.

I always have been choosy of what I can eat and what not. "Although I can eat eggs but not of ducks, or lions, ......wait a minute...lions dont lay eggs. Chief, do lions lay eggs?"

I have seen Chief smiling when we talk about stuff but not laughing like he did when I asked this question. "Yes, they do in Britain" was his reply with a smile.

And I understood he was pulling my leg :-)

Though I tried my best to link it to spirituality but nothing much I could do. Although the very first thought that came after this incident was - How easy it is to forget what one has been learning all throughout his life !! Maalik baksho !!

Smile Smile mein...

Days ago

‘Prediction was for Sunshine, but its raining heavily. Weather department isn’t working It seems’ – He smiled.
I smiled – ‘What could they do? I prayed for rain today’
‘Ha Ha….I prayed for Sunshine, how come your prayers got heard?’-He smiled.
I smiled – ‘Connection. If you know whom you are addressing prayers to, prayers get answered. If there is no addressee for a letter, who would reply back then?’

Today

‘These days you aren’t praying properly!!’-He smiled.
He smiled. I asked –‘why? what happened?’
‘It didn’t rain heavily today’- He smiled.
I smiled.

Often when Graham and I sit together, we end up discussing weather. The weather outside is so refreshing these days that even eyes appreciate. Graham knows how rains bring smile on my face, and I know how much he looks forward for a sunny day. Today too we were sitting and talking about weather when he reminded me of the remarks that I had given days ago.

Graham – Sun-hill how different are we culturally!! You folks like rains and we admire sunny weather. It’s nice to meet people with different psychologies.

Sunil – Grey-um, I would say how similar we are!! Both of us don’t like what we have seen in abundance.
Both of us smiled.

Oh God !

Caz, as she likes to be addressed as, is a friend from work. Often Caz and I together have walked on way back to home from work. Our talks revolved around TV shows, Indian and English cultures, colleagues etc and not forgetting the most important topic – God. Out of all these topics, God is the one where she has patiently listened without any comments. On one such walk, Caz mentioned – ‘Sunil, I don’t believe in God.’
Respecting her sentiments, I decided that I won’t discuss this anymore. Probably that was the reason why she kept quiet while I talked of quotations, parables etc from scriptures or other sources. That was April 2009.

Not many days passed before we both had to work late nights. The project had gone really bad, and the only way to deliver it on time was to put some extra efforts. We both sat late hours, spent weekends, holidays in office trying to make code work. Every time she made some change, and I tested – result was a failure again. ‘Oh God! Let me try something else’, ‘Oh God! Why doesn’t this work now?’, ‘Oh God! ..’, nothing seemed to work – Caz’s face would go pale as mine. Her sadness and helplessness was obvious from her remarks – and to be honest my state wasn’t different either. Just that I tried to show my balance with my silence. Both of us were exhausted and finally thought of taking a short break.

As I grabbed a piece of Pizza, I couldn’t resist adding – ‘Caz you know?’
Caz – ‘What?’
I – ‘The other day you mentioned you don’t believe in God, and now you were taking His refuge is every single line. Were you making fool out of me? You…..’

I still recall smile on her face which accompanied one on my face.

From the same experience, I admit that being a believer (at least I call myself one) I never thought of seeking blessings when I felt exhausted. But one who called herself as a non-believer made efforts to include and pick strength from God. Her talks may not have sounded like prayers, but at least she called our Savior. And Savior too fulfilled His promise – Include Him in all your ways and He will make all your paths straight! Soon her prayers were answered and we found a fix for our problem. Miracles like this happen now and then, can’t say that I sat down to write a Miracle, instead an experience where I learnt that even if child rejects the existence of father, father still clings to the child.

I meet people who call themselves atheists, I meet people who call themselves believers, I meet people who call themselves religious, I meet people who call themselves spiritual - trying to distinguish themselves from the others. And I wonder where lies the difference? Does vision from Moon distinguish India or England?