4 mins

I was sitting with saints after sangat got over for today. I did realize in between that time for my bus' departure was getting closer. However thinking that saints are going to drop me in their car to the bus stop I took a loose stand, and kept enjoying the chit chat that was going. Just some time before the departure I got up and got into saint's car. Saint mentioned that he cannot drop me to the bus station for some reasons however he would happy to drop me at a convenient point from where on I can continue traveling to Bus Station.

I had already got late, and had no option other than following what saint had to say. I reached Bus Station but a little late. I had got late by 4 mins. I checked the next bus' timings. The one where I could fit in was 4 hours from then. I really regretted getting late by just 4 mins which made me wait for 4 hours. A sheer wastage of time.

At the same time, I remembered my friends, my dear ones who have heard about the message but for some reasons, may be not fully convinced are ready to risk their futures for some chit chats that keep them busy at present. 4 mins delays caused 4 hours wait time. This is not with the life though. I knew next bus would be there after 4 hours and will have seat vacant for me. But in life, who knows when the breaths stop, and when is the next bus that would take them along...

Babaji, bless that your message gets heard and understood. May people understand that each 4 minutes slot, rather each millisecond counts. Let all understand that these chit chats wont have end, at one moment they all would have to rise and walk for the destination.

When blessings are being seeked for others, I cannot stand apart. May I also understand your message in real spirit. Let me also not forget that my life too comprises of these small small moments which I keep on wasting for some reason or the other.

14th February

Her eyes I still remember. Two glowing eyes, greenish in color, held inside a body that would be around 6 years of age. She had made a move to hug me but something kept me aloof. I kept my hand on her head as if giving my wishes to her; she accepted the blessings from her elder. And I moved from there after that. Later realizing what I had done.
I had gone to a Family Contact Centre here in Swindon on Saturday. It was advertised that volunteers are needed in Child Centre and those interested may visit the local branch office. During my visit to the centre, I came to know that a Child Contact Centre is a meeting place where children of separated families can enjoy contact with one (or both) parents, and sometimes other family members, in a comfortable and safe environment where there is no viable alternative. Well, I wasn’t much happy to see the kind of job I was being offered. But somehow, I gathered the basic details and then made a plan to make a move. Before I could I move, I recalled I had carried some chocolates in my pocket for children whom I expected to see there. There were no children but only volunteers who were aged 60-65, I offered them few chocolates. Before they could eat those chocolates, this girl appeared from nowhere. She was then followed by her younger brother perhaps and father. I was told that this divorced person was there to meet his children who were living with their mother. I offered one piece of chocolate to Elizabeth, the girl I mentioned earlier. She in thanks made a move to hug me but something kept me aloof. I kept my hand on her head as if giving my wishes to her; she accepted the blessings from her elder. And I moved from there after that. Later realizing I had missed an opportunity to reciprocate a sincere feeling of nothing other than love.
As I was moving away from the Centre, I was being reminded of my act again and again. How could I un-see an act of sincere love, which a small child was eagerly waiting to share?
However the story doesn’t start here. It probably began when I was born. Since then I have been continuing to do similar acts. For reasons known or unknown, I have missed many opportunities. Opportunities to offer my love for the people whom I have come across. Opportunities to reciprocate the love that others have given me. As people around waited for 14th February to express the love for their beloveds, I too was waiting to see if I can think of at least 14 people whom I have loved sincerely from the core of my heart since I was born. I fail to do so. Where every one’s expectations are for love thy neighbor, I am still trying to love the ones who have entered same roof. Seeking your blessings, to be able to sincerely love those around.

Satguru hi Ameer hai...

Just saw Taare Zameen Par. Somewhere how it relates to real life, and the setup as unveiled so far. Amir comes to rescue a specially blessed. Satguru, Babaji seems to be the special one who understands all of us though similar souls but still have been packed with different needs at the same time. Where people stand expecting all to be on similar grounds. He understands..all of us are different. He knows we wud die if not fed but some eat with water, for some oil has to be fatless to the extent possible.
But He's satguru, probably if people like me too wud have been broadminded, we wud understand elastics react differently to similar stresses. Bakshna Babaji.
Let me understand how special every one is to have been touched by you in your special way. Guess complete spirituality wud revolve around this learning, love ... wat ever we talk. It comes to one point soul and soul .... and soul... and the super soul.
One particular line also caught attention, It went something like baaki sabmein to usko sirf pass hona hai, uski asli manzil to kuch aur hai.

16 Dec 2007

Finally the day is to end and I just thought of re-collecting my learnings from the day ...

He listens - Was thinking to ask Rajkumar ji to help me reach Shrikant ji on Bday. I cudnt even ask this favor and Rajeev ji & Arti ji were made a medium to fulfil my this unspoken desire.

Bglore Rocks - Saints cut birthday cake in Bglore sangat today. Remember Babaji said the utmost desire is that saints love each other as they do to me. Never ever have seen that some one is blessed so much that his/her birthday cake is cut even is he/she isnt in town. That too when no blood relations live in that city. Mystery of His family I must say. Not saying I am important but yes I am blessed.

I still am unlearned - During the days emotions had a zig zag path to follow. Switching from one extreme to another. Rest under 'Parda'. Apologies Babaji, still havent learnt the art of thankfulness, Sweet words, Patience and so many others.

I am idiot - Where ever I am, I fail to see the bliss hidden. Only when I step into next moment I realise the last moment was better. Present is our own....Own ??

Love's still missing - Havent ever understood how the graph moves for Love. Whether it is giving or taking. Allah hi sikha sakta hai mere jaise ko....

There's no place like your room - All day's tiredness vanished like anything as soon as I put on the lights in my room. I saw the untidy room with clothes, bottles lying here and there... but its my own. No place is as sweet as your room. Seemed like am back in the grip of Nirankar. As soothing as this.

Kya Shikaayat Karein Zamaane Se - Hum to khud hain abhi deewane se...Sab kuch to waise ka waise rakha hua hai miyaa...aur chale ho... :-)

Hmm...Itna effort maara likhne ke liye but...

I boarded the train from Swindon for Birmingham which is around 2.5 - 3 hours run including the change time. I was quite thirsty at Swindon Station but wasn’t happy to spend some pounds on water, water which is offered free in Indian stations. I missed India.
Reached Birmingham, was waiting for some friend to arrive when I saw people using vending machines to grab pet of coke. I too had a thirst for 3 hrs then, so somehow I managed and with courage took 1.3 pounds out of my wallet. I put coins in the machine and waited for a sprite bottle to come out. However, there was some problem with the machine; Sprite bottle got struck in middle. I bashed the machine but could not make path for the bottle to come down.
It seemed that God wanted to teach me that don’t miss to enjoy the creations. Anyways, I looked for someone to help but no one was around. Somehow I convinced myself that Sunil, it was for you to spend money but probably the cake wasn’t for you today. You had to pay for some else’s benefit. I moved with a heavy heart trying to digest the learning. After some time came back to same vending machine where a fellow was looking for sprite’s owner. He had managed to take out the bottle somehow. I talked to the person and grabbed my own sprite bottle. Learning came at that moment, don’t worry Sunil what is in your name shall come to you at any cost.
Well these small teachings still have to be imbibed. I often come across virtues that so many saints shared and lived also. However when I analyze I find myself standing nowhere. I do think at times, will reading all those virtues do me a good? It’s good to quote from great books, but am I actually living up to those words. The bliss that is shared in those great books was lived and then scribbled there. And I tend to mention those virtues and get satisfied with my spiritual growth…Scope still is there to grow and feel what is mentioned in those texts.
Sharing from this small incident only, when I will get what’s in store for me, then why does someone else’s growth hurt me? If I want to grow let me make more efforts and excel, why I want to overshadow someone and then say I won. Spiritual life and practical life are one and the same. If feelings inside don’t change, what good would the outer clothes do? A colleague too is thy neighbor whom one needs to love if one thinks of being spiritual. One very beautiful quote I read was,
Pyar inse nafratein unse, yu to sajda adaa nahi hota.
To become a spiritual being, I need to love one and all. Be it in office, be it in house, a soul is a soul and it needs to live with the same virtues. Spiritual living is too simple, and comes in daily living. But then... I need to be open to actually hear who’s trying to call me.

10 Kahaaniya

Was just watching this new bollywood movie. Out of 10, one two caught my attention. One was the balloon story where stress was laid on importance of life. Each moment passes by leaving memories. positive negative what ever shape we give to it.

Aise hi soch raha tha ki kuch dino mein hi janam din aane wala hai. Waise koi major craze nahin, but was thinking it as an opportunity to seek time from people. Anyways, agar khushi wale angle se bhi dekh raha tha to ab soch raha hu ki kya sach mein yeh itne saal use ho paaye. No doubt kuch na kuch to seekha hi hoga .. galat sahi pata nahin. But kya wahi max kar sakta tha main. Kya kuch aur karna possible nahin tha ?

Life mein kitne gile leke chal raha hounga, kitno ko mere se gila hoga, pata nahin.. life ek ek moment karke khisakti hai but shayd dhyaan hi nahin jaata is aur ki ek ek pal kam ho gaya. Life kai baar to aise jeete hain jaise sab mere se hi saansein udhar leke gaye hain, zarurat padi to le lenge...

khair gone ka to kuch ho nahin sakta, par maula..yeh kirpa kar.. aage ke swas tere shukar, tere hisab se guzrein....one gift I look from you.

Not Bad Sunil !!

Day & Night, I look for the light

with dreams in my eyes, for times that would be bright.

Day & Night, I long for your sight

I calm them to silence, but silly emotions still fight.

Day & Night, I think on the riverside

There's water already, then why dont these tears hide.

Day & Night, I wait to hug you tight

forgetting who's around, and what's wrong or right.