Ya ! Kind of

I wasn’t expecting him to speak, but he did. “Sunil, Can I ask you one question?”
“Of course, Stefan... Shoot!” was my reply.
“Are you a Christian?” Stefan asked. I was sitting with Stefan, the business analyst, to discuss some important project work when he stopped me in between. I smiled. Stefan repeated his question.
“Are you a Christian?” this time question was answered “Ya, kind of”. Now Stefan too smiled.
“What does that mean?” was the next question for me. I knew this is not going to be easy. So I picked up the notes, inverted those and drew the diagram. While Stefan watched what I was doing, I started labeling those concentric circles, and spoke –“Every religion consists of three parts, the outer part being mythology, the central being ritual and the inner most being Spiritual Crux. If you go in depth of every religion, the outer two may be different because of time, region etc but the third inner most part is same for all. Be it Catholic, Protestant etc, all of us are trying to follow teachings of Lord Christ. So where’s the difference? Remove styles of eating, dressing, mode of prayer etc etc what remains? We are praying the same Lord, so aren’t we same? Religion for me is just spiritual crux; rest two will change every moment. So, Yes I am a Christian but in normal day to day terms I was born in a Hindu family.”
I never tried to know whether he understood what I spoke. I was busy, caught up with my own thoughts and thanking Almighty, “Wow!! United Kingdom, Financial Institution, Business Analyst, Project Meeting and Spiritual Crux??” I couldn’t have dreamt of speaking all this in such atmosphere. Mind, body and intellect stand apart when you come in picture.
People walking around the bank, carrying pounds in their pockets, crossing with thoughts of mortgages, tax saving schemes – No one knew what these two different colored gentlemen were discussing. Had they heard, they would have understood that a bridge was under construction.
A bridge which can help two hearts to touch each other despite all differences of color, race, language, culture, diet etc.

Any Regrets?

"I wish I could have come to this point in my life without hurting so many people..especially the people I have loved."
Years ago, I was holding a copy of the original book 'Conversations with God' but never came across this line. But today I did...
...and If I still can correct myself, I will be a true learner.

Humane Touch

“Sunil, you know Matt is really happy with the progress. And I have some surprise for you but I won’t tell you now.When I come down to see Matt, I will speak to you“.
Natasha, my Manager here at client site mentioned this to me couple of days ago. Often as it happens in corporate world, whenever a person receives an appreciation from someone, there follows a chain of appreciation emails. Here at my work place, there’s an appreciation certificate that is given to people for their extraordinary accomplishments. I guess Natasha was looking for Matt, her Manager, to accompany her when she would present this appreciation certificate to me.
Natasha turned at my desk couple of hours later. However she came alone – possibly Matt wasn’t around. And she started – “Sunil, It’s been wonderful working with you. Matt and I both are happy with the commitment you have shown for the project. And to appreciate that I have brought this for you ...”
I smiled but I couldn’t carry that smile for long when I heard ‘...Coffee vouchers” from her. She handed over those coffee vouchers to me and I thanked her with a fake smile. I was taken aback as this was something I hadn’t expected. Natasha sensed that something had gone wrong but then she asked me again – “Is everything alright? Aren’t you excited?” Just to make sure that I don’t disappoint her, I added – “Of course I am and thanks for the coffee vouchers, we’ll use them when complete team joins for coffee “Perhaps by this dialogue I was trying to give an impression that I am a team player but deep inside I knew I had missed this moment’s enjoyment by some self centered thoughts.
Natasha went away and left me in thoughts, I should have enjoyed that compliment but it was her who enjoyed that more. She did appreciate the work and in her own special way also acknowledged my efforts. It took a while before I forgave myself; for not valuing her humane touch that she gave by offering me something that I am fond of.
Also a reminder from Babaji reached my eyes yesterday; “the most important things in our lives are not things.” However it seems that it’s a life time’s effort to understand and live this reminder. But nevertheless, I was happy today after talking to Patrick.
Patrick, another colleague at client site, said a similar thing today – “Sunil, you are doing a good job”. And I smiled as I remembered the incident that I had had with Natasha. “Are you serious Patrick?” I asked with a smile. Patrick nodded his head in Yes. And I smiled again and said – “Thank you”.
Reason for my smile wasn’t that someone had appreciated my work but was that through this smile I was rewarding myself for not missing the beauty of present moment and also for acknowledging this humane touch.

उलझदा पता नी क्यूँ हां !!

मिलया सी मान जी नू, भगती दा सहज जीवन
शक्ति दी दौड़ विच ओह, उलझदे पता नी क्यूँ ने !!

Mishra ji was standing ahead of me in line for Namaskar, and after bowing down head infront of mahapursh on stage, Mishra ji asked
"शास्त्री जी मैंने आपकी किताब, अन्धकार से प्रकाश की और चार बार पढ़ी है पर समझ नहीं पाया"

Shastri ji smiled and even before he could speak, thoughts went in my mind -
"यह क्या कहा मिश्राजी ने, शास्त्री जी ने यही कहना है की एक बार और पढ़ लो"

I have heard a lot about Shastri ji, from Shastri ji & for Shastri ji but nothing more has marked my mind than his few words,
" वो तो बहुत पुरानी है, अब तो और बहुत कुछ लिखा है संतो ने वो पढ़लो"

More than an answer to Mishra ji's query, line was a shock was for my thoughts. A book which would have inspired so many souls for Gyan, would have clarified so many doubts of souls who had taken gyan - Author of the same book was sitting infront and mentioning "Read something new written by other saints". Often I have seen people sharing their own writings, rarely have seen an author praising another author. The scene doesnt end here - the learning is to be picked and lived. But again as said by Maan ji in above lines, the aim was to live a life full of saint hood and simplicity, don't why there are pauses on this journey which arrive due to one's own short comings.

Meet John, The Taylor.

John , whom I address as 'Darzi' because his surname happens to be Taylor, is an extra-ordinary colleague. Of all the people I work with, he stands apart. Not because he and I are great friends but because I have failed to understand our relationship which has sometimes been with smiles and sometimes with plain expressions.

Anyways, I am not to comment on relationships or anything else but to thank Almighty for reminding me to continue living stampless. Once in a while, the white board near my desk carries the learnings that I have heard in Sangat. John and I had been struggling today to solve PODCS issues and amidst our conversation he asked pointing towards my white board, ' Sunil, from where do you bring these thoughts?' and I was ' I do attend some spiritual meetings and there I hear these teachings '. John seemed little surprised and then he asked me - 'So you are religious'. As soon as I heard him say that I said -' No, I am spiritual'. I couldnt believe my ears when he gave another plain face and said, " What's the difference !!!! "

For the first time in my life, I had heard spirituality and religion were different. This was when I had landed in UK. People are sensitive towards this topic I was told. However for me, religion has always been a uniting factor, and thats what I understand by Spirituality. Waking at this time, eating this, sleeping in this direction etc cannot change my inner self but thats what people around seem to understand from Religion. However, irony with me was that I too picked up this word 'Spiritual'. Not because I started differentiating between these two words but because I didnt want to hurt anyone's feelings. By God's grace I am happy even if some one says I am religion-less person or not a spiritual guy or anything.. And again His grace that His and mine relation is above any definitions or words. Call it spirituality, religion or nothing - He is what He is and I am what He has made me.

Perhaps it was the same concern for the sensitivity of local souls that I had said 'I am spiritual'. But again a hammer striked on mind when John commented , 'whats the difference !!!' Ofcourse, there's no difference. and even if it is, its NMD ( as John says - Not My Department ).

John you really are Darzi, who is stitching two torn pieces of spiritual world and religious world.

Sunday

I remember watching movie Sunday some months ago. Cannot recall starcast or anything else - just that it was a story of a girl who did not remember her one sunday. And magnified version of her story would be what most of us have lived - A life without sundays or A life only of sundays :-)
Born in a family set up which was already touched by your hands Babaji - from childhood till date, life has had no sundays. I remember, family members turning off TV around 1000-1030 on Sundays - Its time for Sangat. Me and siblings often used to plead - Mom please, Mickey Mouse .. Chandrakanta .. Mahabharat.. But Parents never ever cared to listen. My friends used to discuss about the cartoon shows and movies they saw on Sunday, and for me life had no sundays. Parents dont understand - I am a kid and I dont even understand what vichars are, why sangat at this age? But still I used to go to meet friends in Sangat.
Those were the years, and now life says thank you Babaji and parents. I dont have words to put Babaji - Thank you so much. Each small incident that happens in life where you show your presence and touch, It relates back to those teachings that went into ears of a small child who was unhappy for his sunday less living.
Prayers with folded hands Babaji, please continue blessing with your company. Life would have been meaningless without your presence. I have fallen short of the followings so far, dont know how the future is going to be - but with your presence, life seems to be cherished. A sunday less living :)

Lock

A lock put at the door often feels that it’s because of the lock on the door that the robber doesn’t dare to do a robbery. However, like me it forgets it’s not the lock but the eye of the neighbor that prevents the robbery. Had there been no eye fixed on the lock, even a child would have dared to pray with the lock. A very small yet so true example to express the state where Sunil stands.
As I sit to self-analyze all these years that I have breathed in this body, I cannot put myself in a better state than this lock, which often comes in the trap of doer ship ignoring the presence of this Almighty Nirankar. Also reminded am of the lines from a hymn,
“Sahiba tere darr te ardaas hai meri, tere charan, tera kadey vi,
pyaar na bhuley, Sewa, Simran, Satsang, Satkaar na bhuley.”
My prayers are in your feet, that may I always remember the love that you have showered on me, may I always remember this Almighty Nirankar, may I always offer respect to the company of saints, may I always remember to render services selflessly and may I also remember where you picked me from.