Another stepping stone

Would she be Okay in England? One of the things that brought me anxiety while preparing for Mom's arrival in UK was her unfamiliarity with 'English' language. From rest of the angles I think I had somehow assured myself but her ability to communicate with only 'English speaking' crowd was something I was struggling with. However a sudden click reminded me that even though she doesn't know English but at least her son does. I can be her translator. In case we get to spend time with some 'English only' people, I will do translation. While my mind was busy rushing these thoughts, it also gave me few more mixed thoughts of gratitude & pride - Isn't it great? Thanks Babaji that I went to Convent School and had all education in English. Looks like Babaji already started preparing for her visit - years before 2011 by sending me to an English medium school. Good that I know English, else it would have been tough. Both of us in England, without English :) Not now! With her translator son, She'll be Okay. Didn't realize when these thoughts also brought back hidden pride of being better equipped with English Language.

But thankfully the pride soon changed back to gratitude. It didn't take long to reload one of the memories from childhood when I was complaining to Mom about her level of education and she gave back a life long lesson. Mom, do you know how embarrassing it gets in school to say that my parents haven't even done their class Xth? My expert Mom, without any waste of second threw ball back at me, "I agree that we aren't that educated but are making sure you don't repeat same thing. At least be thankful for this." In matter of seconds, it seemed that googly was at origin and all complaints vanished.

I think it was this very statement which took back pride that had started to creep in and returned thoughts of gratitude. Gratitude towards Guru and also parents who despite their level of education made it possible for us to have best of education. Not just worldly but also spiritual education. In the same set of incident also, on one angle it might appear that I have translated and helped her to communicate in an alien country but on a better angle it is she who has helped her. My being able to help her was only possible because she has equipped me with English language.

Thanks Babaji, this time the trap of false pride wasn't deep enough and You saved again. When I look back to reflect on incidents of life so far, I am reminded of many such mistakes. Mistakes that have reminded me of my shortsightedness but thankfully such mistakes have also become stepping stones to improvise and carve a better Sunil.

Mistaken Identity

Three of us were travelling in the car and somehow D touched one of the hot topic these days. D started informing all of us what had happened to few spiritual guides in India in recent past. How few guides were caught for being involved in one or the other unacceptable activities. I tried paying less ears to the conversation but got into an attentive listening mode when name of the Mission came into their discussions. D felt that one of the guides caught was actually the lead for the SNM. Not realising that I too was one of the followers of SNM, he kept on keeping his concerns about the condition that few spiritual leaders were not acting according to social norms. I thought of interfering in discussion by clarifying that D was mistaking the held guide with some other mission. However I kept quiet. Dont know why but I kept listening to the discussions without reacting much, although understanding that more than D I have had chance to observe SNM philosophy and the leader. I did think that I will go and perhaps separately clarify D's misunderstanding. D would meet so many people in his life hereon, It would be unjust if he continues giving wrong information to the people he meets. And people as they are would pick up wrong information about a mission that is making human out of me.
But as day progressed, I still kept quiet. I dont know if I should have had some anger or concerns for held guides like D had. I somehow feel, its tough to judge the situations these guides would have gone through. Without knowing them as a person, I am no authority to form any opinion, be it good or bad, for the held guides. My thoughts dont hold any grudges for these guides, because I dont know what they have gone through.
And on correcting D, I dont know what should be my reaction. Should I go and inform D that he is carrying wrong information? or should I keep silent because if D is giving wrong information, so am I? D hasnt known the mission, but I have! Despite knowing mission for so long, I have not been successful in portraying the correct ideology of mission. In a way, I too am giving wrong information to people about SNM. Hence, there's not much difference between D and myself. I kept quiet because of this confusion, which let to a conclusion that before correcting D, I should be correcting myself.